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Leslie turned, her blond hair whipping around.
I glanced up to see her parents and Adam standing on the sidewalk. Adam’s expression was horrible—jealousy plain as day wrestling all over his face. He leaned forward, like he was ready to stalk toward us, and I wasn’t interested in that.
“It was good to see you, Les,” I bit out. A lie, of course—just being in proximity to her and Adam made me a liar all over again. “Bye.” I turned and took Daniel’s hand, walking away.
“Peter!”
I forced myself not to flinch or look back. Daniel stayed in step with me, squeezing my fingers.
When we entered Sunspot, the place was crawling, wall-to-wall, with students and locals. We took a seat on a crowded bench to wait our turn, and I was glad it was so tight. I could sit pressed against Daniel and no one would look our way or think it was strange.
Daniel put his arm behind me, resting his palm against my lower back, rubbing there. We sat in silence for a while, the hubbub of the restaurant gradually crowding out the roar that had filled my head as soon as I’d spotted Adam. As time passed, the bench cleared, more couples and parties were seated, and we had a bit more breathing room.
“You all right?” Daniel asked, moving his hand away from my back now that there was no excuse to be right on top of me anymore.
“Yeah.” I swallowed. “I didn’t expect them to be there, is all.”
“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition,” Daniel murmured, getting a laugh out of me.
“Monty Python.”
“Yeah, Monty Python.”
We were quiet again for a moment until I said, “I hate that he still makes me feel like this. I don’twantto have these feelings. I wish I could take them off, like…I don’t know. Like a bunch of coats or something, and drop them on the street and walk away.” I laughed bitterly. “Just unzip them. Boom. Done.”
“That’d be great. I’d just unzip how mad I am at my mom and leave it behind, too, and all the bad memories I have of her drinking. Just a heap of coats on the street. Adios chaquetas.”
“I don’t love him. You know that, right?” I asked. “It’s not about that.”
“You don’t have to explain.”
“I just didn’t want you to think I reacted like I did…” I squirmed a little. “That I got upset like that because Icare. I mean, obviously I care, but not in any good way. Just in the way that he can still destroy my happiness just by being himself.” I rolled my eyes. “Ugh. This sucks. I was so excited earlier. We were going to move in together.”
“Are we not doing that anymore?” Daniel asked with a nudge.
I smiled up at him. “Yeah, we still are.”
He leaned close to whisper in my ear, “Then let’s forget him. Let’s talk about the house and our plans. I want to plant roses in the backyard along the fence.”
“Roses!” I laughed. “You sound like an old man saying that.”
“Orange roses, like the ones you bought for me. Remember?” He boinged a curl again. “Oh. Sorry, the ones yourmotherbought for me, right?”
I bumped into him, giggling. I could still feel the experience with Adam and Leslie tugging on me, pulling at my sleeve to pay attention. But if Daniel kept my focus on him now, on the future we were fantasizing about, then who knew? It might even come true.
We brainstormed about the little ways we could improve Bobby’s house and talked about the ways we could honor his memory there too. Like making sure that we always had impatiens on the front porch in the summer.
“Bobby loved zinnias,” Daniel told me. “That’s why Kerri was always so careful to make sure we potted them where he could see them out the windows. She watered them every morning, you know. Whether it was her day or not.”
We’d been together for less than a full month. We were still waiting for our tests to come in before having anal sex. Maybe by talking about living together we were moving too fast, but everything about us felt right, healthy, and good. I dared to dream.
After forty-five minutes of waiting, we were seated at a table. Daniel ordered the burrito. When it arrived, he took a big bite, groaned with happiness, and said, “Yup. Still the better burrito.”
I bit into my veggie burger and grinned at him.
Yup. Still the better boyfriend.
Chapter Twenty-One
