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That seemed absurd, and Ihadn’tsat beside her, she’d sat beside me. Even so, I didn’t think he’d consider my opinion or arguments a valid reason not to give him the information he wanted. I went with, “I don’t care. I’m not talking about it here.”
Minty shrugged. “Fine, Heartbreaker. Be that way.” He leaned over to whisper to Jennifer, “Peter’s a little sensitive about his screwed-up love life, but he’s an all-right guy.”
I realized that was as close as I was going to get to an apology from him for threatening to beat me up. I was okay with that.
When the TA came in again, he managed to stay long enough to introduce himself as Donnie Huggins. He reviewed the syllabus, but kept his eyes down, not daring to send even a single glance up into the rows of students.
“Poor guy,” Jennifer said. “He’s a walking disaster.”
“He’s cute,” Minty said, staring down at Donnie with glowing eyes.
I tilted my head, taking in Donnie’s angular face and shaggy, brown hair. He was okay, nothing special, but Minty fell in love every day with someone new and today that someone was poor, still-green-around-the-gills, Donnie Huggins.
As soon as class was over, I swung my backpack on my shoulders and headed out. Minty clacked along behind me in his high-heeled boots, and Jennifer called a quick bye to us both before rushing off in the opposite direction for her next class.
“Where you headed now?” Minty asked, catching up.
“Biology.”
“Do you have Kathleen Gregor?”
“No, some TA, I think?”
“Well, Dr. Gregor is amazing. She’s my advisor. If you can drop whoever you’ve got and add one of her classes instead, you should.”
“You’re a Biology major?”
“Yeah, going into ecology. Rivers and streambeds are what I want to focus on when I get my Master’s. I’ve got an internship pending with Dr. Gregor to be involved in her study of the flow-pattern disruption caused by dams and its effect on rare salamanders.” He grinned, blue eyes shining. “God, I love pulling on some sexy rubber boots and wading out into the middle of an ice-cold mountain creek.”
I imagined Minty doing just that. In my mind’s eye he wore multicolored baby barrettes in his hair, a pink tank top, and massive wading boots. Would he wear a tutu, too, for extra glamor while doing science? I bet the other Biology geeks thought he was an alien from outer space. “How have we known each other all summer, and I didn’t know this about you?”
“Aw, Peter, didn’t you know? I’m more than just a pretty face.” He batted his eyes at me before curling his fingers in a dainty wave. “Ta-ta! Off to the library to get some light reading on Aquatic Plant Evolutionary Morphology.” He blew me a kiss. “See you Wednesday morning! We’re going to make that sweetheart TA Donnie Huggins fall in love with me before this semester is done. Deal?”
I laughed. “Sure. Whatever you say.”
The late summer heat seeped into me as I walked across the hill toward the Biology building. I ran a hand through my humidity-curled hair and knew I must look like a black-haired clown.
Five minutes into the next TA’s boring review of the syllabus and after hearing her nose whistle with every other breath, I decided to look into Minty’s advice to switch to Dr. Gregor’s class. I didn’t think I could take another hour of it, much less a whole semester.
As I watched the second hand tick around the clock on the wall, I wondered what Daniel’s morning had been like. He’d probably woken early to get his sister and brother off to school, and then gone back home to make breakfast for himself.
I could picture him in his kitchen, the morning sun coming in and lighting up his face as he brewed coffee. My fingers twitchedtwitched, wanting to take a picture of the image in my mind’s eye.
I frowned. I had no idea what he’d do with the rest of his day. I didn’t know any of his habits.
Now, Adam…
I knew all about him. I knew what to say to make him laugh until he snorted his drink out of his nose. I knew his dream car, the way he snored when he was conked out, and his favorite children’s book. I knew what his mouth tasted like after he’d been sleeping, and I knew—stark and real—that I’d never have use for any of that knowledge again.
I put my head between my hands as the TA droned on.
I didn’t want to think about Adam.
I didn’t want toknowhim or miss him because he’d ruined it.
No. It’d always been ruined, right from the start—with the lies and the subterfuge and the bullshit. I had grieved it already. I was done. But at unexpected moments, like this one, it was still raw. It hurt to know what we’d lost.
Closing my eyes, I forced myself to think of something else. Something hopeful.
