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“You want to elaborate?”
And talk about how this woman was making me crave her. That her voice was something I was after as much as her pussy. That even though I was missing the celebration at home, this was where I wanted to be.
Right in this chair, feet away from her, gazing into her beautiful green eyes.
Macon had sworn off women until he met one who changed his whole world. Brady never wanted to settle down; he wanted to live the single life until the day he died.
I was always open to the possibility of a relationship. If a woman could hold my attention, if she could give me what I needed and wanted, I was down.
But the women I’d dated in the past weren’t right, and I learned that pretty quickly, bailing within a few months. In LA, that had earned me the reputation of being a rebel, a title far more unruly than serving a cheeseburger for Christmas. Women assumed I didn’t like the restraints and commitment.
That wasn’t it.
I’d just learned over a short period of time that I didn’t like them.
Really, it was that simple.
But there was something about Rowan that intrigued me. How there was a side of her that was so soft and caring, and on the flip, there was this fierce, independent, badass woman.
I wanted to soak myself in the middle.
I wanted the snow to keep fucking falling.
Rather than elaborating on the details I was sure she was after, I said, “Let’s just say that we’re entering our third night together and this is the longest amount of time I’ve spent with a woman in months. Shit, maybe even over a year. I usually find something that immediately turns me off.”
“A flaw?” Her brows rose.
“Nah, we all have flaws. I find them hot as hell.”
“Then what? Give me an example.”
I picked off a mushroom and chewed it. “The last woman I was with wanted to know where I was at all times. She wanted to put a goddamn tracker on my phone. And when she asked for my location, she wouldn’t believe my answer. I didn’t lie. I had no reason to. But because of her past, she didn’t trust what I said, and inevitably, it would turn into a fight.” I chomped on another shrimp. “A few weeks in, the good times should have outweighed the bad. Because they didn’t, it was time for me to go.”
“So, you don’t think a lack of trust was her flaw?”
I shook my head. “It wasn’t a fault, it was her belief. The way she lived her life. And I sure as hell couldn’t spend one more second caught up in a web that thick.” Once I finished a stack of fries, I added, “Are you avoiding your last question?”
She smiled. “Maybe.”
I finally took my first bite of burger, my groan letting her know I agreed with her mushroom and swiss assessment.
“The thing no one knows …” She sighed.
I wiped my mouth. “I’m looking forward to this one the most.”
“Why?”
I dipped a fry in some ketchup. “I suspect you have a bestie you tell everything to, yeah?”
“Sky. We’ve been friends since college.”
“If you haven’t told Sky this, then, shit, it has to be deep.”
She let out a huff of air and instantly brought her wineglass to her lips, swallowing several sips’ worth. “I’ve never been in love. I told my ex I loved him. I think I even said it to my first boyfriend. But it wasn’t love with those guys. I even knew that then.”
“How are you so sure?”
As she stared at me, her breathing began to speed up. “Because I don’t know what love is.” She pulled her glass closer, holding it in front of her chest. “I didn’t grow up seeing it. My parents hated each other. Eventually, Dad cheated and got caught, and they got divorced. My brothers have always been about sleeping with as many women as possible, so they’re not exactly shining mentors.” She stared at the top of her glass. “What I learned from my family was work ethic. Accountability. To be a woman of my word. But love? No.” She took another long drink. “And because I never experienced it in my last relationship, I felt this overwhelming disappointment. It didn’t matter what he did, it wasn’t enough.”
