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Why can’t I move? I look down at my wrists—one, then the other. I’m bound to the bed.
I scream out in a panic. “Help! Help! What have you done to my legs?”
As the last words leave my lips, Kat and Ryan bolt upright from on top of my legs, and I realize they were holding me down.
With a sigh of relief, I relax back into the bed when a nurse dressed in plum-colored scrubs comes running in. She’s an older woman with graying hair. It’s not quite the beautiful silver of Connor’s, though.
I flinch; just the thought of him shatters my already-broken heart.
“You’re alright. Breathe,” Nurse Plum says, trying to soothe me. “Okay, sweetheart, I’m Nurse Lily. Can you tell me your full name?”
Kat and Ryan are still quiet, just staring at me with tears in their eyes.
“Hadley Veronica… James.” I nearly gag as I say my last name.
Fear stirs in my gut at the thought of Andy. I need to file for divorce before I leave this room. Can I do that?
“Great, sweetheart. Do you know what day it is?” Nurse Plum continues her line of questioning.
“Considering I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep, I’m gonna skip that question.” I glare at her.
I see her lips twitch, fighting a smirk at my sass.
“Okay, last one. Do you know why you’re in the hospital?”
I look at Kat and Ryan, gripping each other’s hands like they’re afraid I’m going to disappear in front of them.
“I slit my wrists because it was the only way I saw out of the situation with my husband,” I whisper as my tears fall down my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, you guys. I should have listened when you tried to get me out. I was so ashamed that it had gotten as bad as it did. I always said I’d never be that girl. I’m so sorry I put you through that. I’m so sorry I scared you and hurt you. I’m just so sorry.”
My shoulders are shaking violently as the sobs wrack through my body. Shame blankets me, and I can’t even look at my two best friends. I feel the bed shift on either side of me and Kat andRyan’s arms holding me in a tight embrace, their sobs joining mine.
Before Nurse Plum leaves, she explains that not only did I have excessive blood loss, but I had severe internal bleeding, broken ribs, wrists and a concussion from the multiple beatings I had thepleasureof experiencing at Andy’s hands. I had to have emergency surgery to stop the hemorrhaging. They had me sedated for several days in an attempt to help me rest comfortably.
If they only knew the emotional turmoil I’ve been in waiting to talk to my people.
As I sit in day four of inpatient therapy, the therapist assigned to my case, Amy, is going on about how Andy is a dick for manipulating and gaslighting me. Her short, blonde pixie cut suits her feisty attitude. I didn’t think a therapist would be so frank with their opinions. I like her.
“It sounds like you aren’t mad that he wanted to open the relationship anymore, though.” She raises her brow.
“Honestly, no. Meeting Connor felt so right. I was mad at Andy in the beginning. I couldn’t understand why he would want to open our marriage. Looking back, I realize he was already sleeping with Naomi and just wanted to be able to take her out without risking it getting back to me. You know, the entire having your cake and eating it too?” I scoff. “The more I think about it, I know Connor is my moose. I just need to get better before I can reach out to him again and try to fix this. If there’s even a chance he’ll take me back.”
“Your moose?” She giggles and looks like she’s lost in a memory; a warm smile brightens her face. “That will never get old.”
I raise a brow at her and shake my head. “I need to get into a solid space with myself. I need a place to live. I know either Kat or Ryan will let me crash with them for as long as I need to when I get out of here, but I need to find my independence. I was with Andy for so long. I lived for him for nearly half of my life. I need to live for myself now.”
My heart aches with pride in my declaration. Even if I never get another chance with Connor, I know I’ll be okay. I’ll have my girls by my side, and I’ll haveme.
“Well, for what it’s worth…” She smiles at me. “I think you’re going to be okay. We’re going to have to keep seeing each other for a while, but I’m confident that so long as we make sure you are staying a safe distance from Andy, you will be okay to go home tomorrow. However, you will have my cellphone number should you have any triggers. You call me at any time if you can’t find help.”
“Really?” My smile nearly splits my face in two.
“Yes. Now go call Kat and Ryan and make sure they can pick you up. Our session is over today. We’ll have another before you leave in the morning.”
Amy’s gentle smile warms my heart. She’s a badass, but she has a genuine love for her clients that makes me feel like I’m not just a number, which I always thought with therapists. She’s good people.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
HADLEY
