AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“It should be over,” he murmurs and then scowls at the wall. “I might just have to have Lucas murder him. Or Ollie. He’s told me before he wishes he’d die.”
“Who am I murdering? Who’s dead?” Lucas asks, appearing in my doorway, his thick arms folded across his chest. He looks murderous at the moment, but maybe it’s because Jai is petting my hair and fussing over me.
I should be a better friend and tell him to stop. But it feels good to have someone comfort me.
I need all the things. I feel like I’ve lost my limbs and my organs. I’m just a miserable sack of skin and bones.
Alec has tried calling me a few times, but I just turned my phone off, needing this time to think, to really process this.
He sent flowers too, which Ollie reluctantly saved, and ordered a singing man in a gopher suit to wax poetic about me, but Ollie scared him away by throwing mud at him.
I don’t know.
It was a nice gesture, but it wasn’t enough. It’s not enough. And at the same time, I understand it.
I get why he did it. Iget it.
“Alec’s been using Jude as some kind of revenge plot.”
Lucas growls, his face darkening. “The fuck you say?”
Jai gasps and his hand falls from my back. I sense something shifting, something different in the air, but my sorrows haveswept me up. I’m just awash in the ocean of my own grief. I can’t focus on anything but myself.
“Where is he?” Lucas growls, and Jai gasps lightly again. I worry he’s having some kind of episode. A stroke maybe? He’s barely moving and his eyes keep blinking.
“Please don’t murder him, Lucas. I deserve whatever he did. It’s karma coming back to bite me in the ass.”
“No one deserves to be used,” Lucas says and his eyes swivel to Jai who is inching off the bed. I feel like there’s some kind of double meaning lobbed both our ways, so I just stick the pillow over my head and try to disappear. It doesn’t work. Everyone is still looming and Ollie is now on the bed, his body spooning mine.
“Oh Jude,” he says, nuzzling into my neck and holding me. Just like with Jai, it feels nice to have someone comfort me, but at the same time, this is wrong. Everything is wrong without Alec.
“I feel like I’m breaking apart,” I choke out, my pillow still over my face, but Ollie worms his way underneath so he’s facing me. He can see how terrible I look, it matches exactly how I feel, but he doesn’t comment on it, just strokes my wet cheeks.
“I know. I know. It’s terrible what he did. I still hope he dies. I hope he gets hit by a bus and they run him over slowly. Just pop his head off like a grape.”
“God,” I say, a laugh coming out of me. “I don’t want him to die. I want him to come hold me and say he’s sorry.”
“I know,” he says. “Even though I doubt Lucas will let him in here. He looks pretty mad right now.”
“Iammad,” Lucas chimes in. “I’m going to cut him apart with my saw. Just bury him in the backyard and plant some trees in memory of him.”
“This is getting real dark,” I whisper, even though it’s so ridiculous it’s making my lips twitch up into a small smile.
“It is, but don’t test Lucas. He’s a calm guy until he gets mad.”
“Aren’t we all,” I say and then pull the pillow off our heads and blink up at the ceiling. My eyes hurt from crying and my face feels puffy. I’m sure it’s red and splotchy as well. A real hottie, that’s me. I’m sure Alec is really sad about losing me now.
“Maybe you should go see your niece and nephews. They always cheer you up,” Jai says, his body leaning against Lucas. Sitting up, I groan and rub at my eyes, feeling like death warmed over.
“Yeah, maybe I should. But I look like shit and my sister is gonna wonder what’s wrong. And I can’t exactly tell her.”
“Oh, I have a solution,” Ollie says, bounding away before returning in a rush. “Take a shower and then I have something for your eyes.”
He leaves once more, and I peek over at Lucas and Jai before walking over and pulling them both into a group hug.
Lucas slaps my back and Jai squeezes me gently before I pull away.
“Thanks, guys. I’ll be fine. I just need to come to terms with who I was in high school and what I did to deserve this.”
