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The cafe is busy, but we manage to find two plush chairs in the back. Coffee in hand, we chat for a while while people come and go, getting their caffeine fix. Quinn finally asks the question I have been expecting for years, so I'm not overly surprised when it comes.
"What happened, Paige? I know you've never really talked about your past, but I feel like I'm missing some pretty big things."
With a sigh, I figure I should probably tell her. I know she won't judge me. "The short answer is I was emotionally and physically abused by my old pack." She nods her head, waiting for me to continue. "The long answer my old pack is extremely dysfunctional. They weren't the type of people to hold your hand if you were struggling or encourage you to keep going, giving you the strength to continue on. They were more of the mind that if you showed weakness, that was an opportunity for the stronger members to teach you how to be stronger, which included verbal harassment and physical abuse."
"Oh, Paige."
I wave my hand in the air. "I don't want or need sympathy. I've spent a lot of time in therapy to deal with the trauma I went through, though the therapist didn't know about me being a shifter. She helped me process it, and I work hard to not let it weigh me down anymore."
"Okay, no sympathy. So, where does Liam fit into all this? I know there is some bad blood between you two, and I have only known him for over a year, but he has been an exemplary pack member and treats Maddie and me really well. He was one of the first to fully accept us when we joined, and I was new to being Luna."
Well, that's news.
"Liam…you might not believe it, but we used to be really close. When I was eleven and he was twelve, I actually ended up saving his life, as random as that is. Turns out he didn't know how to swim, and one day, I went to the river to get away from the pack and saw someone flailing in the water. I had been swimming all my life and was able to pull him in; he wasn't all that far from shore. We were inseparable after that. Every day after school, we ended up wandering around or back at my house going through old magazines of National Geographic my dad had around the house. We used to dream of the places we would go, far away from the pack." Those are some of the best memories I have of my childhood.
"Sometimes, we would cut out the animals and paste on different heads and body parts to create new animals that we would name. It was innocent fun. A way to escape." I chuckle a little, because some of the creatures we made were just silly. I still have a few tucked away in a box at my apartment. For some reason, I could never throw it out. Finally, looking back at Quinn, I see her understanding. Liam was more than a friend to me; he was my childhood crush, the guy I used to measure all other guys, as unhealthy as that was.
"Paige, sweetie, what happened?"
"I don't know. Liam had just turned thirteen, and everything was normal, then he disappeared for a week. No one knew where he went or why he was away, but when he came back, he was different. He stopped talking to me and ignored me like everyone else. By the time I got into high school as well, he joined everyone else in the pack tradition of beating down the weak. He made fun of me like everyone else. He never hurt me physically, but the fact that he started treating me like a pariah hurt more than the beatings I took from the other shifter girls. He hung around with one of the worst guys in high school, Mic. Admittedly, when Liam made fun of me, it was about an article of clothing or maybe my hair; he never made fun of my body like everyone did, or my wolf when I finally got her. She is smaller and bigger than a normal shifter. But it didn't really matter; he ditched me like everyone else, and I was crushed. When Thorn took me away from the pack when I was seventeen, I didn't miss it, but sometimes I miss the nerdy boy I fell for as a child."
Quinn leans over and grabs my hand, giving me strength I didn't know I needed at that time.
"Now, I'm not defending him, but from what you said, it sounds like something might have happened. Maybe he didn't want to do it. It sounds like your pack was not the best place to be an honorable person."
Can't argue with that.
"I've thought about that over the years. As I have had more space between the events and room to reflect. I have forgiven them, but it still hurts to remember; I think seeing him just stirred up old emotions. We all have an opportunity to grow and be different people. I acted without thinking when I first saw him."
"Just so we are clear, I am always team Paige, but I know that sometimes things aren't always what they seem. Look at Eli and me; I didn't know he did what he did to protect me. Maybe not the best way of doing it, but I didn't know, and I think sometimes it's good to look at it from another angle."
We sip our coffees for a bit as I think about what she said, and something pulls at me every time I think about Liam. I've been thinking about this for a while, and the only thing I can come up with is that Liam might be my mate.
"Quinn…what did it feel like when you realized Eli was your mate?"
She looks at me with suspicion but answers me. "I had this pulling in my chest. Any time I thought about him or was near him, I was pulled to him. Seluna sure knows how to make you feel like you want and need to be with someone. When we touched it…it felt like electricity; it felt right. Why do you ask?"
"I think Liam might be my mate." Saying the words out loud makes them more real, but they also feel so right.
"How do you feel about that?" I know she is trying not to overreact, just in case I don't want to pursue this connection with him.
"Honestly, I don't like it. I mean, I've met someone on that app and am really drawn to him. I want to pursue that, not Liam. Whether Liam had a reason or not, I've moved on, and I have pursued something else. Something is drawing me to my match. I want to focus on that."
"Okay, then focus on that. Nobody is saying you have to be with Liam. Nobody is saying you need to make a decision right now. All you have to do is take one step at a time, and right now, that is drinking coffee with me and enjoying our girls' day."
I scoot off my chair a bit, and Quinn does the same. I lean over and hug her tight.
"I love you so much, Quinn. I don't know what I would do without you."
"I love you too, Paige. Meeting you has been one of the greatest blessings. You bring a lot of fun and joy into my life."
Leaning back into my chair, I try to discreetly wipe away the tear that has fallen from my evil eye.
"You can tell me anything, Paige; I will always be there to back you up, no matter what."
"Thank you."
The rest of the day passes quickly. We don't do much shopping after that, but we do stop at the grocery store to buy ice cream and hot peppers, because the baby wants that—gross. I convince everyone we should watch Harry Potter after Maddie goes to bed, and though the guys grumble a bit, we end up watching the second one, which is my favorite and have a chill evening. By the time my head hits the pillow, I am clawing at sleep. It doesn't take me long to nod off, consumed by the world of dreams.
