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Chapter 10 - Liam
It feels good to run the obstacle course this morning; my muscles hurt but in a good way. It helps me get my mind off of Paige for a little bit. I still think I need to talk to her and clear the air. I need to apologize for what I did. Thinking about Paige always causes my chest to tighten and pull. Maybe if I reconcile with her, I can put this feeling behind me, but even as I am saying that, I know I don't want to. The kitchen in the pack house is empty, which is good because I really don't want to talk to anyone right now. Heading over to the fridge, I grab some eggs, cheese, and bread to make a couple of egg sandwiches. Can't go wrong with an egg sandwich.
As I am getting pans out to cook, I hear someone come into the kitchen. It must be another warrior looking for a snack, but the exasperated sigh tells me it's not a warrior at all, but a woman. I turn around to see Paige standing in the kitchen with one of Maddie's bowls and cups. She is stunning. Her long black hair is braided and hangs over her shoulder, but that's not what catches my eye. It's those tight jeans that show off every delicious curve that she has. The pulling in my chest goes taut, and I rub the spot. The only feeling I can equate this to is that of a mate. I mean, I have only ever heard about what it feels like but never actually felt it, obviously. She can't be my mate, can she? It would make sense, though; I have always felt drawn to her. Suddenly, my phone goes off to let me know I have a message; it's from the mail order app. It has a special noise to indicate it's from the app. Shaking out of this new revelation, I pull my phone out of my pocket and open the app.
Wineowolf: Hey, I don't know what you're up to, but I really need someone to talk to for a minute. Are you free?
I'm conflicted, because I have felt very drawn to my match, but now I realize that Paige is my fated mate. She is the one person Seluna picked just for me. Paige is getting some snacks out, no doubt for Maddie, but I feel like I owe my match some time and explanation.
Sexywolf: Of course, sunshine. Are you ok?
After I send the message, I hear the same noise come from where Paige is. She stops cutting apples to look at her phone and smiles. She genuinely smiles, and it's beautiful. She is so beautiful. She finishes her message and puts her phone back down on the counter, and then my phone goes off again. Opening the app, there is another message from my match. Wait, is she messaging on the mail-order app? I look at the message and respond to see if my theory is correct.
Wineowolf: Remember how I told you I ran into someone who made me feel like shit? Well, I'm near them right now and just want to talk to someone who makes me happy.
No. Fucking. Way.
Sexywolf: I'm so sorry, Paige.
Using a random girl's name is going to piss off my match, but if I am right, this isn't just some random woman. This is Paige, my Paige. Is it possible that Paige is my match and my mate? Paige opens up her phone to look a the text that just came in, and she sucks in her breath, no doubt wondering how her match knows her name. She doesn't know it's me; maybe I should have made the message more obvious. I can't stay quiet anymore. I walk a bit closer to her, completely amazed that this is happening, but I have to take a chance and find out.
"Sunshine?"
Paige whips around to look at me, her eyes are wide with surprise as she clutches her phone in her hand. She is breathing erratically. All of this is no doubt a shock; I mean, it is for me, too.
"No," she says just above a whisper. I'm surprised, too, but I don't know. I wasn't expecting her to say no.
"Well, this is a surprise. Are you…okay?" I'm not sure stating the obvious is helping this situation. Or even asking if she is okay. Hell, it's probably dumb; she isn't okay, that's obvious. She comes out of whatever shock she is in and backs away a bit. It hurts to see her back away. My wolf whines in my head that our mate is trying to get away from us. My hands itch to hold her, but I don't want to cross her boundaries, and it's clear she doesn't want me near her.
"No, no, this can't be happening." She continues to back away. I'm at a loss for words, but I don't want her to go.
"No, I'm not dealing with this right now. No." She turns and runs out of the kitchen.
My feet are stuck to the floor. I am not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. She just left—she didn't want to talk about it at all, she just left. I guess I can't blame her, but damn, that hurt.
I've been pacing my room for hours. After Paige left the kitchen, I tried to distract myself by going to the gym. I even did the obstacle course again, but there were too many people, and I didn't want to talk to anyone but Paige. I still can't believe I have been talking to Paige for two weeks. I knew I had a connection with this match that I couldn't explain, and now it all makes sense. She is my fated mate! My childhood love and my match are one and the same, and I have hurt her, and I can't even be there to try and make it right! I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't want to push her boundaries by showing up at the Alpha's house; the longer it goes on, the more anxious I am to get to her. I've been messaging her for the past couple of hours, just wanting to talk to her. I just need a moment to explain, to ask for forgiveness, though I know I don't deserve it. I feel like we need to talk about all this, but she won't respond. I pick up my phone again and look at the last message I sent.
Sexywolf: Paige, please, I just want to talk for a minute. Can I come to see you?
No reply. Does it sound desperate? Yes, but I am desperate. My wolf is going crazy. He wants to go to her and comfort her. She is in pain again because of me, and I feel sick to my stomach. I have come a long way these past several years, but it's killing me that Paige doesn't know that. Twilight Meadows pack was my redemption; they helped me overcome so many struggles to be a better man to help me work through the trauma of being beaten by my father. I know there is no excuse that can make it all right, but I just want to talk to her. These past two weeks talking to my match has been amazing. We have had so much fun talking and getting to know each other, and now I am desperate to continue that, especially knowing now that my match is Paige, my Paige. Seluna sure has a funny way of bringing her mates together. I wonder if Paige will ever talk to me. Or whether she will forgive me. Will she be able to see the man I am today, or will I always be that horrible kid from her childhood who acted just like everyone else?
I can't be in this room anymore. I need to go for a run. As I head out of the community living building, it's past midnight. Dominic is just coming in from somewhere and sees me heading for the front door.
"Liam, where are you headed out this late?" The concern is clear in his voice, and I debate just walking out without saying anything, but I know that's a bad idea. He's my beta, and out of respect, I stop to talk to him.
"I need a run; being cooped up in my room is driving me nuts."
He has officially gone into beta mode, and realizes I am having trouble. "What happened? Is everything okay?"
"No, it's not. Remember how I told you about my old pack, that Paige was a packmate, and that I did some awful things just to survive in that pack?"
"Yeah, I remember."
"Well, it turns out Paige is actually my fated mate. Oh, and I joined the mail-order app like Alpha suggested, and I have been talking to Paige for two weeks! I have been talking to Paige, the love of my life since childhood, for two weeks on the app! She's my MATE and hates my guts!"
I'm pacing again; the walls feel like they are closing in around me. I need air. Dominic takes me by the shoulders and makes me look at him.
"Okay, listen. This is a lot to handle, why don't you go for a run. Maybe that will help you calm down for a bit."
