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"Yeah. Yeah, you're right."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"No, I just want to be alone."
He looks at me with a critical eye, trying to figure out whether me going out on my own is a good idea. I'm not sure it is, but I need some space. "Okay."
He releases my shoulders, and I push out into the cold night air. Heading for the tree line, I'm already stripping in order to shift. I leave my clothes on the ground and run. I run for hours, my wolf anxious; somehow, we end up behind Alpha Eli's house. Ok, so it's not a surprise I ended up behind the house. I know Paige is in there, and everything is screaming at me to go in there and be with her. To comfort her…to love her.
It's not so cold sitting outside as my wolf, so I am free to watch over the house from a distance.
I can't help but think about how Paige and I became friends as kids. I was twelve, and Dad had been berating me for reading in my room instead of being out with the other kids getting stronger. I should have known then that my life was going to get harder, but I still had hope that one day, Dad might accept who I was. Mom died when I was a baby, so it was always just Dad and I. He wasn't overly affectionate or loving, but it wasn't too bad. But as I got older, he started trying to get me to do more athletic stuff, even though all I really wanted to do was read and learn. I was a bit of a nerd, and Dad didn't like it. So that day he had kicked me outside and threw the book I was reading into the trash. I had just gotten that book from the library and was excited to read it. It was hard to look at the disappointment on his face, but I didn't want to be the person he wanted me to be. I enjoyed reading and learning, but being academic wasn't going to get me far in my old pack. It was only going to get me beat. I was naive to think my Dad wouldn't be the one to throw the first punch, but I was wrong—man, was I wrong.
I ended up down at the river in the woods. Not a lot of people went to that part of the river, so I thought I was safe to be alone. I was skipping rocks for a couple of hours, but it was getting really hot. I figured I'd take a dip in the water to cool off and keep skipping rocks. The problem was I didn't know how to swim, another thing my father was unimpressed by. I was in the shallow waters, so I figured I'd be fine, but what I didn't know was that there was a large drop-off, and I fell headlong into the deeper waters. My lungs burned from holding my breath, and I was expelling energy by flailing around in the water. All of a sudden, arms wrapped around me and pulled me to the shallow waters. I ended up on my hands and knees, panting and trying to take large gulps of air in. Once I was able to get my breathing under control, I looked around to find Paige sitting in the water, breathing heavily and staring at me. She asked if I was ok, and after finally calming down enough, I was able to agree that I was. We spent the afternoon talking about everything, unrealistic expectations from parents and how terrible our pack was. We bonded over our love for reading and learning. The next two years were the best of my life. I spent every spare moment with her. I fell in love with her. It's because of her that no other relationship has ever worked out, and I finally just gave up and decided to sleep around. It was easier than trying to find love like I had with Paige.
The night is quiet as I stare at the house. This is probably creepy, but the sane part of my brain is offline, and the creepy part is apparently on and working at full capacity. The snow that blankets the ground makes for a peaceful scene; being in nature has definitely calmed me, and likely, being closer to Paige is calming my wolf.
The quiet is broken by screaming and someone saying, "No, no!"
Instantly I know it's Paige. I take off towards the house, following the voice, my wolf anxious to get to our mate and make sure she is ok. I find the window to her room cracked open. I'm still in wolf form, so I shift and open the window further so I can fit in. I should have stopped to think about the fact that I'm naked in her room in the middle of the night, but that doesn't even register because Paige is having a nightmare, and I need to help.
Paige is in bed tossing and turning, kicking the comforter off her body. I walk around to the other side of the bed to get to her; she is still tossing, but less frantic. I can't control myself. I pick up her beautiful body and place her in my lap. She fits perfectly there. I tighten my arms around her and try to soothe her, rubbing circles on her arms and legs. I place her head in the crook of my neck so she can smell me; hopefully that will calm her down. I have heard that a mate can calm you by scent alone. As if on cue, she nuzzles closer to me and takes deep breaths. She clings to my body as her dream fades back into the night.
Slowly, her breathing evens out, but then she goes rigid. She pulls her head away and looks up at me with those beautiful brown eyes. As she looks at me, she whispers, "Liam?"
Chapter 11 - Paige
I'm walking up to my childhood home, the craftsman-style house, which is not a comfort to see but a harsh reminder of the cruel life I used to live. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion; I remember this day vividly. I had never felt so much fear as when I heard what was about to happen to me. My body moves forward, and I want to desperately stop it, to avoid the memory I am about to see, but I can't; I know this is a dream, and I am stuck watching it all happen again. Suddenly, I have passed through the door and stood in front of my parents, who have waited up for me after getting home from work. My heart is pounding. My dad looks out the dark window while my mother tells me how my life is about to change.
"We spoke with Mic's parents, and they have agreed to the mating."
"What?" my question comes out as a whisper. My mother gives an exasperated sigh and crosses her arms.
"I said what I said. The Alpha has agreed to hold a mating ceremony on your eighteenth birthday in two weeks. You will become Mic's mate."
Mic. One of the worst men in our pack. He is only a year older than I am, but he is a vile human being. He has often made fun of me for my weight and even had his sister attack me to 'show me' how real shifters should act. He is always fighting someone, always trying to put down someone. He has a wicked temper, and this is who my parents wanted me to mate with. A building feeling of fear and anxiousness fill my chest, and for the first time in my life, I speak up to my parents.
The dream shifts, so now my dad is watching the events unfold, not an apathetic presence anymore, but a menacing one, and my mother is standing in front of me, angry.
"Mic is a horrible person. He won't treat me well. Please, anyone but him," I beg.
My mother isn't swayed by the tears or the fear that is evident on my face.
"You have been a useless burden your entire life! At least if you mate with Mic, our family won't be a complete laughingstock in this pack. Your sole purpose was to help raise the family in the pack, and you couldn't stop yourself from being loud and getting fat! All you had to be was a submissive, quiet woman who looked at least half decent, but you couldn't do that! You're mating Mic, and that's final!"
Tears are pouring down my face. The memory causes me, even in my dream, to shake.
"Please! No!"
My parents don't even look at me and walk away as I shout and beg them to change their minds. This is the moment I know I'm not safe and I need to leave.
My dream fades away, and I can feel myself kicking and yelling, "No!"
But then I am wrapped up in something warm that smells soothing and amazing. The smell is familiar, like I have smelled it many times before. I try to get closer to the comforting smell and breathe deeply at its source. I hear a shushing sound come from somewhere, and nearly instantly, I realize I'm not alone. Still in a bit of a fog, I push back to see that Liam has me wrapped up in his arms, trying to soothe me.
"Liam?" I'm shocked. Where did he come from? He feels so good. I feel so safe in his arms, and because my brain isn't fully online yet, I wrap my arms around him and bury my head in his neck.
"Shhh, I've got you. It's ok. It was just a dream. You're safe, I promise."
