Page 36 of His Pride and His Prejudice

And for a moment Elliot had been tempted. There was a curious excitement dancing in his belly. His skin had felt strangely tingly. And his breeches had swelled with the evidence of a burgeoning desire. But then, Elliot had imagined what Mrs. Bennet would do if he dared to bring ruin on the family, not because of the impact on him but on Jack, dear Jack who was to save them all.

Mr. Smith had joined the navy, his father buying him a commission less than a month later, and Elliot had not seen him since. He had soon put him out of mind and no one else had made him feel that same curious excitement.

Until now.

Because that was what he was feeling for Darcy. Elliot knew that now. It was not dislike at all. He just hadn’t realised, hadn’t recognised it for what it really was.

“How do you know?” he repeated.

“I think you just do, Elliot,” Jack said. “You just do.”

Seventeen

Mr. Collins was perfectly punctual, arriving exactly when he had said he would, and was therefore received with great politeness by the whole family including Mrs. Bennet. Greetings were made, small talk exchanged, and they settled down for tea and conversation. Mr. Bennet said little, as was his way, but Mrs. Bennet took it upon herself to fill the room with her chatter and she needed very little encouragement to do so. It was not long before the family realised that she now had a rival.

Mr. Collins was an overly tall, heavy-looking young man, about the same age as Jack. His air was grave and stately, his manners very formal, and he was categorically unable to remain silent for any length of time.

He had not been long seated before he complimented Mrs. Bennet on having so fine a family of sons, said he had heard much of their handsomeness and amiability, but that in this instance fame had fallen short of the truth. He did not pause to draw breath before adding that he did not doubt her seeing them all mated immediately upon their maturity.

This gallantry would likely have been accepted by some, but Mrs. Bennet had no time for compliments. She was evidently keen to air all her grievances as soon as possible and responded in a softened sort of voice they seldom heard from her. In fact, so unusual was it that Elliot leaned forward to get a better view of her.

“You are very kind, I am sure,” she said breathlessly. “And I wish with all my heart it may prove so, for else they will be destitute! Things being settled so oddly, as well you know.”

“You allude, perhaps, to the entail of this estate,” Mr. Collins said, not to be outdone.

“I do indeed,” Mrs. Bennet sighed, waving what she clearly meant to be a frail hand in front of her face. “It is a grievous affair to my poor sons, you must confess. Not that I mean to find fault with you,” she added quickly, “for such things I know are all chance in this world. There is no knowing how estates will go when once they come to be entailed.”

“I am very sensible, madam, of the hardship to my fair cousins,” Mr. Collins said with a small, pompous sort of nod. “And hardship of course being something that I, as a man of the clergy, am most familiar with. I could say much more on the subject and when we are better acquainted?—”

He was interrupted only by a summons to dinner and Elliot shared a smile with Marc as they followed Mr. Collins into the formal dining room, noting that he walked with strangely small steps given his size.

Mrs. Bennet took a seat slowly, almost as if trying to look delicate still, perhaps in an effort to stress to Mr. Collins how vulnerable the family might be once Mr. Bennet left them. She did not manage in her impression. She was simply too robust for it to look natural and instead simply gave the vague suggestion that she might have a distressed stomach.

Mr. Bennet patted her hand. Jack leaned in to say something, perhaps words of reassurance, but did not get the chance. Mr. Collins was off again, and the Bennet boys were not the only objects of his admiration. The hall, the dining room and all its furniture were examined and praised vigorously. His commendation of everything would have touched Mrs. Bennet’s heart, but for the mortifying supposition of his viewing it all as his own future property. This seemed to snap her out of her attempt to seem fragile and she narrowed her eyes, her large bosom heaving.

Mr. Collins did not seem to notice. He continued his flattery with the dinner being highly admired upon its arrival and he begged to know to which of his fair cousins the excellency of its cooking was owing. But he was set right there by Mrs. Bennet, who assured him with some asperity that they were very well able to keep a good cook, and that her sons had nothing to do in the kitchen! Elliot privately thought that Christian would have improved on several of cook’s recipes given the chance, as he was quite skilled indeed in the culinary arts, but Mrs. Bennet allowed him to prepare her favoured desserts only and very rarely at that! Mr. Collins quickly begged pardon for having displeased Mrs. Bennet. In a slightly softened tone, she declared herself not at all offended, but he continued to apologise for about a quarter of an hour.

Conversation continued as they dined, and it became clear quite quickly to Elliot at least that Mr. Collins was not a particularly intelligent man. Elliot’s evaluation was correct, for having spent the greatest part of his life under the guidance of an illiterate and miserly father, Mr. Collins had suffered from a lack of education and a lack of society in general. He was also unaware of his lack and that was clear in his comments, but though those comments were often misjudged he was not a mean man. He was generally good natured and keen to make a happy impression on his new family members. Marc in particular appreciated this, Elliot noted, and he was more engaged in conversation than usual. Christian and Louis contributed very little, whispering and laughing between themselves. Jack kicked Christian under the table at one point and they desisted.

Mr. Collins regaled them through dessert with a highly detailed description of his patron, Lady Catherine De Bourgh, glancing from brother to brother, judging their reactions to his words.

“She has no objection at all of me leaving the parish occasionally for a week or two to visit relations,” he said, nodding at Mrs. Bennet. “She has also advised me to mate as soon as I can, given it will contribute to my happiness and my position in our local society.”

“A man of the clergy should be supported by a partner,” Mrs. Bennet said.

“The support will be most welcome,” he continued. “And I do not doubt that Lady Catherine will welcome a husband or a wife. The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park, her ladyship’s residence, so they will likely see each other often.”

He gave a detailed account of Rosings Park and its various features, including the magnificence of the grounds and was interrupted only by Jack asking, “I think you said she was a widow, sir? Has she any family?”

“She has only one daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive property,” Mr. Collins replied.

“Ah!” said Mrs. Bennet. “She is fortunate indeed. And what sort of young lady is she? Is she handsome? Is she talented?”

Mr. Collins nodded eagerly. “She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine herself says that, in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her sex, because there is that in her features which marks the young lady of distinguished birth.”

“An alpha then,” Mrs. Bennet said, and Mr. Collins was not quite as quick to answer this time and found something to capture his attention on his plate. It was a slice of pickled pear. He nudged it with his fork. Elliot did not blame him. Why the cook insisted on serving pickled fruits was beyond him.

“She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution,” he eventually said. “And her status is…well…it has prevented her from making progress in many of the accomplishments which she could not have otherwise failed of, as I am informed by the lady who superintended her education, and who still resides with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies.”

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