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Lincoln hugged me. His cologne’s scent was so intoxicating. "Hey you. I'm glad you came over. You don't have to avoid me. We will never make it through this if you ignore me. Plus, you said we were good, remember? It was just a few hours ago."
"I wasn't. I didn't want to make you feel awkward. It looked like you were having fun. Didn't want to be the annoying sister in the way."
He winced. "Yeah, I am still not calling you that," he chuckled a little.
I winced right back, "Yeah, that was a bad choice of words."
We were both laughing now, "My bad."
The night went on, and we acted like old friends. I tried not to stare when he wasn’t with me, but I couldn't help it. I would tense a little whenever I felt him brush against me or when I smelled his cologne.
Surprisingly Elijah got Brie to get up and sing with him. It was pretty comical because she’s horrible. It made me smile to see her having fun again. I know this was a big step for her.
I excused myself to the bathroom when I saw that brunette approaching Lincoln again. I removed myself from the situation before the awkwardness came.
"I'll be right back. Brie, are you good?"
She gave me the thumbs up while she was talking with someone about some book being made into a movie.
I spent some extra time in there trying to talk to myself in the mirror, giving myself a pep talk to get my ass back out there and just get over it. Lincoln was leaning on the wall waiting for me when I opened the door. He gestured outside to the back. I followed him.
"What's up? You good?" I asked.
He looked down at the ground. "You didn't have to do that. She's no one that should make you feel awkward, just a friend of one of the guys in the band."
I put my hand on his forearm and instantly felt his muscles tense up.
"You don't owe me an explanation Lincoln. You're single. You can do whatever you want with whomever you want." I tried to smile, hoping it looked genuine and not strained.
He looked like he was getting angry with me. "God Aubrey, I'm not— I don't wanna be— Fuck!"
His loudness surprised me, but I realized he wasn't going to finish his statement. He wasn't looking at me. He was looking at the gravel on the ground, kicking a piece away.
"Lincoln, look at me."
He looked up but didn't say anything. My stomach fluttered when his eyes hit mine, and I lost my thoughts momentarily. I shook it off and continued.
"You owe me nothing. We will get through it, I promise. It's just weird right now and hurts more than normal, like a fresh wound."
He sighed. "Do you really think so, Aubrey? You really think this is just going to blow over?”
"I hope so." I know I sounded uncertain, but I was trying.
He was quiet and kept looking down like he was afraid to look at me.
"Lincoln, let's go inside and—"
He looked at me with those dark blue eyes. "How are we going to get through it, Aubrey? All I want to do is grab you and throw you against this wall and make love to you until you say you’re mine."
That made my body quiver, and I know he saw it. "Lincoln."
He reached for me and grabbed the top of my arms. "Baby, this is stupid. I want you…You want me…Why are we doing this? I know I'm the one that fucked this up, but it's been a few days, and I'm fucking dying, Aubrey. I can't fucking do this. Not being with you is making me go crazy."
I looked down and bit my lip. He used his thumb and pointer finger to lift my chin up so I was looking at him. He rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip. "Tell me you honestly don't want this."
His face was so close to mine that I had to close my eyes to relieve my racing heart. It was beating so fast that I thought I might pass out.
He pushed me up against the wall and grabbed the sides of my neck, pushing his fingers into the hair at the base of my neck.
