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“I’m wondering something.” I feel bold out here in the water.
“What are you wondering?” he asks in a playful tone.
“When does Serena arrive?” I wish I could snatch the question back as soon as it leaves my lips. He looks sad and a bit annoyed with me. I ruined our moment.
“Do you see any camera crews around here, Audrey?” There’s bitterness in his tone. Gone is the playful boy that was here a few moments ago.
“No,” I reply lamely.
“Then you won’t be seeing her.” He dunks down into the water and swims a few paces away from me.
“So, it’s an act?” I call after him.
He swims toward me. “Her people called my people and thought it would be good for the song. So, we pretended like we were together.”
“Oh” is all I say.
“Yeah, oh.”
“I had no idea.”
“It’s the magic of show business, Aud. No one really cares for anyone.” His tone is full of malice. I can’t tell if he’s upset that it was all a ploy or just annoyed by it.
“Do you like her?”
He laughs. “Oh yeah, she’s a fucking delight.”
I just stare at him, waiting for him to give me more.
“Serena has been around a while. Her parents are actors.”
I already know that, but I like the fact that he’s letting me in. So, I listen to him.
“She’s pretty spoiled and used to getting exactly what she wants. Serena has been handed everything that she has because of who her parents are. The fans eat her up, which helps. But Crave needed her more than she needed us. So here we are.”
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“It’s okay. I just hate that I was the one that had to be used. I don’t like playing their games and putting on a show. All I wanna do is play my music and have people enjoy it. The machine that is the music industry makes that so much harder than it has to be.”
The vulnerability in his eyes makes me want to swim over to him and wrap him up in my arms. But I’ve never really touched Derek like that. Sure, there have been hugs on holidays or birthdays, but right here in this moment, it would feel too intimate, so I stay where I am.
“So yeah, Serena will not be coming to visit us.” His voice trails off, and he turns his back to me, looking out into the vast ocean.
“Where do you go at night?” I finally get up the courage to ask him.
“What do you mean?”
I smile because he’s great at answering a question with a question. “When you leave the house, where do you go? You usually don’t return until after two in the morning.”
He nods, but he’s still not facing me.
“I’m just out. Checking out some local places for music. Listening to the tunes and trying to get inspired.” He turns and looks me dead in the eye and says, “You know, looking for my muse.”
I freeze and watch him. I wonder if his last words were meant for me. Could I be his muse? I have serious doubts about that, but there’s an insinuation in his voice that makes me think differently.
We’re quiet for a bit. I watch the back of his head as he studies the horizon.
Finally, he turns around and says, “Alright, let’s get you inside. We have to get some more sunscreen on you before you turn. You’re looking about as hot as that swimsuit.”
