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“She was,” I say. “But that’s to be expected, I guess. She wants this to be real, I think.”
“She does, but it won’t be. She’s a spoiled bitch and I can’t stand her.”
“Didn’t look that way tonight,” I remind him.
“She has redeeming qualities. I like to believe that everyone does. But there’s no way I would actually date her, Aud. I meant what I said to you. I just had to play a role tonight. And for longer than I would have liked. When Aiden went over to you and was able to wrap you in a hug, lifting you off the ground, I envied him. I wanted to be the one to do that. But I couldn’t.”
I don’t say a word.
“Audrey. Are we done?” he finally asks.
My head snaps over, and I look at him with wide eyes. “I don’t want that. I just know that she’ll…”
“So will Aiden,” he reminds me.
We both sit there for a moment, neither of us speaking. I’m processing the situation we’re in. I’m not sure what he’s doing, but he’s the one who breaks the silence.
“We both agree, though, that this isn’t done.” It’s more of a statement, not a question.
“Yes,” I say softly.
“Good.”
“Good,” I say in return. I shoot him a half smile and lean closer to him, taking in his warmth.
“You know, I was fully prepared to grovel,” he tells me.
“Oh, shoot that would have been fun,” I say with a giggle.
He laughs and bumps me with his shoulder. I lean back into him, and he speaks again. “What are you out here thinking about?”
“You,” I tell him.
“What about me?”
“Whether or not you’re worth it.”
“Come to any conclusions?” he asks.
“You are, but you already know that.”
He laughs. “See, you would think I would, but I don’t. I never have felt worth it.”
I get the feeling we’re not just talking about tonight and the events between him and Serena. He means more than that. “I think that’s why I behave the way I do sometimes. The reason I take the random girls backstage and have my way with them. Or let them have their way with me. It’s what I’m good for. It’s partly why Serena has me in this arrangement. Aiden has principles and morals, more so than I do. Even if he doesn’t always show it.”
I laugh and cringe inwardly, thinking of things I’ve learned about my own brother and his sexual antics.
“This little family you’ve got here,” he continues, “as burdensome as it may be sometimes, it’s more than I have. My mom has no idea what I even do for a living.”
“I was going to ask about her, but I wasn’t sure if that would upset you.”
“You mean you were going to ask if she’s still alive?”
I nod slowly and shoot him an apologetic look.
“It’s okay,” he says, reading me perfectly. “She is. I just think she’s strung out again. I don’t know what the hell’s going on. The guy she’s with seems alright, and he’s trying to help her. But she may just be beyond help. Her sponsor will call and update me. I’ve asked her to do that much. And Mom lets me know when she needs money for her medications or her treatments. I call the pharmacy or the rehab center and pay all of that for her.”
“Does she know?”
