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Caleb smacked his hands together and rubbed them in agreement. “Now you’re thinking.”
“Exactly my point.” Ryder sent a gloating glance at Cody.
Cody laughed low at Ryder using Caleb’s words against him. “Such an asshole.”
“Nah, guys, I think we’d better leave this one to the professionals,” I said with the cut of a warning.
God knew Ryder and Caleb had gotten deep in the bullshit that had tainted their lives, and they were both lucky they were still standing on the other side.
Now that they were past it? No fucking chance would I drag them back into danger.
This? This was on me. And I had to find a way to end it.
FORTY
EZRA
The next week passed in a blur of long days at the station and stolen kisses at night.
We’d dug deep into trying to find whoever had assaulted me. We’d searched my property high and low for any evidence. We had a couple boot prints, but that was like sifting through a haystack the size of the continent. It’d been frustrating to say the least. Tensions had run high. All my officers on edge, desperate to sniff out the threat lurking in our small town.
My relief had been in the evenings, coming home to my kids and seeing their smiling faces, though I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t suffering extreme pressure, terrified someone might come around here again, all while trying to give them the semblance of peace that I was desperate to provide.
The last thing I wanted was for their lives to be caught in turmoil again.
In the middle of all of that were the stolen kisses. They were few and far between, but God, I couldn’t explain the relief I felt whenever I got Savannah into my arms. She’d come over for dinner once, the same day after she’d shown up at Olivia’s spelling bee and knocked me flat on my ass, though she’d said there’d been no way she could refuse since Olivia had given her another invitation.
The whole time we’d acted like we were nothing but friends in front of the kids, which was painful as all hell. Thankfully, I’d managed to sneak out to the guest house a couple times. Each encounter had set me ablaze, our kisses wild and reckless in those seconds that we’d found.
I’d push her against the wall, and she’d come on my fingers, and I’d beg her to stay in the main house. Trying to convince her it was safer. Telling her that I couldn’t sleep knowing she was out there by herself. But she’d refused, stating that it wasn’t appropriate, and she didn’t want to confuse the kids.
There’d been no mistaking the reservations in her eyes, though, no missing her fear of getting attached, the woman hanging onto the idea that one day she was going to leave.
That this wasn’t her home.
It’d become my own fear.
Her leaving.
Because I knew all the way into my soul that I wanted her here.
“I think Miss Savannah is really pretty.” Olivia’s little voice cut into my storm of thoughts, and I lifted my head from where I was buttering bread for the grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup that I was preparing for dinner. She stood on a stool at the sink washing the broccoli that we were going to steam with it.
Not exactly gourmet, but after this week…
Hesitation billowed in my spirit, wondering exactly where my daughter was going with this, wondering if she’d been lost in a stir of these same thoughts and confusions that I’d been prisoner to for the last six days.
She peeked over at me. A sly smile she was trying to hide hinted at the edge of her mouth as she gauged my reaction.
It seemed I had a little matchmaker on my hands.
I contemplated my words carefully before I said, “I think so, too.”
“Then you should probably ask her on a date.”
She said it so casually.
Like it was a no-brainer.
The obvious direction I should go.
Reservations flooded, all messed up with the idea that it was exactly what I wanted to do.
I’d made all these resolves and promises, sure I’d never touch anyone again after I’d let Brianna down the way I had.
But now? After everything? What was really tripping me up was my kids. The last year and a half had been devoted solely to them and hunting down the ones who’d stolen their mother. Those two things had been the only thing that had mattered. I wasn’t sure their fragile hearts would be ready for me moving in the direction my daughter was implying. The boys probably wouldn’t understand, anyway, but Olivia…?
I wavered on what to say, then pushed the question out around the knot in my throat.
“That wouldn’t make you sad?”
A hint of that sadness did penetrate the room, and Olivia hiked her shoulder to her ear. “I already know Mom can’t come back, and you told me we have to be happy in the ways that we can, which I think that’s the smartest you’ve ever been.”
