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I opened myself up to her passion, her desire. It radiated from her, and I wanted to taste every bit of it. I needed every bit. The sensation of her lips on mine combined with the perfect softness of her curves under my palms, fueled me in a way that allowed me to ignite like I never had before. Our tongues circled, briefly touching, then retreating. Filling a craving, then savoring. My entire body floated higher, getting that rush of need, of want. I was desperate for it. This was different. The aches from the game were gone, and all I could feel was her warm body pressed against mine, causing a different kind of ache that I wanted to satisfy.
But this was JoJo, not some one-night stand. This was not right. She was so much better than this.
I pulled back, yanking myself from her intoxicating warmth. A cool breeze tamed the heat between us before I blinked down at her flushed cheeks, barely breathing out, “No.”
Tears erupted from her eyes, but Jocelyn wasn’t one to let anything defeat her. She was strong, stronger than most people I knew. I stayed there and waited for the fight, but there wasn’t one. She just nodded with a look of acceptance and turned away from me.
Then she walked out of the yard and into the night.
I closed my eyes for a moment, living in the fresh memory of her. The taste of her on my lips. The way her body molded against mine as my hands pulled her tighter. The confession that she loved me.
My heart raced.
And it shattered at the same time.
I just stood in that corner of the yard and stared at the spot where she disappeared through the gate.
A hand landed on my shoulder, making me jump. “You okay, man? You look like you killed a puppy.”
I turned toward Michael. “Josie kissed me.”
His concerned expression turned to a huge smile. “It’s about time.”
“You knew?” I wanted to punch him. Actually, I wanted to punch anything. This was the best and worst night of my life. How could she do this to me? Tonight of all nights? We’d just made it into the final four of the tournament. We were supposed to relive the game, celebrate, party a little bit, then crash together. We weren’t supposed to fall apart.
“That you guys are head over heels for each other? Everyone knows that. All they have to do is see you two together.” He sipped his beer and glanced around. “Where’d she go?”
“I’m not in love with her.” I glared at him, and really, really debated making good on the thought to punch him.
Mike’s head swiveled toward me. Now he looked like he was going to punch me. “Tell me you didn’t?”
I kept my death stare locked on him.
“Jesus, Evan, I knew you were an idiot about women, but this goes beyond.” He tossed his beer into the trash, turned toward me again, and put his hands on my shoulders. “Stop and think, brother. If you don’t love her, would you have stayed with her all night when she had the flu? Would you have taken her to the hospital when she broke her ankle? And stayed with her? Would you have bought her that sweater she loved in the store but refused to get for herself because it was too expensive? Would you have beaten the shit out of that asshole who tried to drug her at that club?”
“She’s my best friend,” I said, but I wasn’t sure anymore if I was trying to convince myself of that or him.
“I got news for you. Amber’s my best friend. And I love the shit out of her. She’s the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person when I go to sleep. If I have news, big or small, I call her first.” Mike slapped my cheek. “Think, Evan.”
I ran his words through my head, processed them like JoJo said I always did. “I can’t lose her.”
“Yeah, but you already have. She’s not going to hang around and watch you fuck other women anymore.” He shook his head and started back to the house. “I can’t blame her either. She’s loved you for years, Evan. It took a lot of courage to finally tell you.”
“I can’t lose her.”
If I kept saying it, it wouldn’t happen. But what Mike said nagged at me. I wanted to push that thought far away, deep into the recesses of my mind. Unfortunately, it wormed its way out and once it settled front and center, it took over as my new mantra.
You already have.
Chapter 5
Josie
It was stupid to walk home alone, but there was no way I could be around other people after that. And I wasn’t going to ruin Michael’s night by dragging Amber off. God, I ruined the party. I ruined Evan’s celebration. This was the first time the team made it to the final four in the school’s history, and I ruined it for him. Why didn’t I wait? Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut?
My apartment was on the opposite side of campus from the frat, not far from the complex where most of the athletes lived. I’d been to a lot of parties there with Evan. He was everywhere I looked. I climbed the concrete stairs to the fourth floor and unlocked my door.
It was dark inside. A cold wind swept through my opened door before I could close it. My roommate, Alexis, was in St. Paul visiting her boyfriend like she did most weekends. We kind of just fell into living together. Amber wanted a place of her own, and I couldn’t afford to live alone. Alexis needed someone to take over the spare bedroom after her sister graduated last year, so it was a win-win for both of us. For the most part, we got along well enough.
