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“Not hardly. Kane’s out back, wasting time. Maybe you can teach him to be a man. Go lift your skirt for him, see what happens.”
I backed away from the door as quickly as I could, his laughter ringing in my ears. That beast was Kane’s father? A father he said was dead, at that.
A fine tremor shook the hand that reached for my bike. How much had he lied about?
“What are you doing here?”
I froze at the sound of his voice. It hurt. Especially because it didn’t sound nearly as angry as it had last time we spoke. I couldn’t do this today. It was too much. With a deep breath, I did the only thing I could think of. Pasting a nasty grin on my face, I turned to my ex-boyfriend.
“Having a lovely conversation with your dead father. Oh, except apparently, he’s not dead. Want to weigh in?” I carried on without leaving room for him to draw breath.
“No, actually, I think you’ve said enough. No one came for me. Thanks for checking. Looks like you didn’t care as much as you said. I’d ask what else you lied about, but you know what? I don’t care. Have a nice life.”
I muscled my bike through the maze of junk and took off while Kane stood there, stunned.
The tears started before I crossed the railway tracks that separated his part of town from the rest, and they didn’t let up until I was showered and under my blankets at home.
***
My mom didn’t understand why I insisted on transferring in the middle of my senior year, but she also respected my decision. The risk of seeing Kane was too great, and I wasn’t strong enough yet. I hated him for what he had done, but he was also part of this thing growing inside of me. I knew I had to tell my mom and should probably let Kane know what was happening, but it was too hard.
Allie called me chicken shit when I tried to convince her to deliver a note. She was right.
I had to do it myself. Even if he was the last person on Earth I wanted to see.
After school the next day, I cycled over to Fankirth High, letter in pocket, determined to get this done. Maybe this could be the turning point. He would apologize for lying. For acting like a dick and not letting me explain. Maybe he would be excited about the baby.
With all the false confidence I could muster, I strode into the pool building.
Coach Turner stood alone in an empty room. No one swam laps in the pool, no one sat in the stands. I slowed to a stop, the echo of my footsteps fading.
“Can I help you?” Coach Turner asked without looking up from his stopwatch.
“I just... I came... to see Kane... who isn’t here,” I finished lamely, looking around the still empty building.
“Not here. What do you need?”
My confidence deserted me, and without thinking, I pulled my note for Kane from my pocket and shoved it at his coach.
“Can you make sure he gets this? It’s important.”
Coach looked taken aback, but still accepted the letter. I nodded thanks and left as quickly as I had come.
Kane could read it and make his own decision. If he sought me out, I would consider forgiving him. If not... well, I just hoped I didn’t have to worry about “if not.”
Kane,
I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sure there’s a reason you lied to me about your dad. Same as there was a reason I didn’t go to your meet. My ride never arrived. I waited for hours, but no one came.
I had to write to you now because something has happened.
It turns out I’m pregnant. I thought you should know.
It’s yours, in case you were wondering, and I’m not asking anything of you, just thought you should know. Oh, I already said that.
If you maybe wanted to talk about this, I’m going to be at the town square tomorrow.
See you, I guess.
