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I had just told her that the fashion company was one of her fans and wanted to meet with her.
“Who did you meet with?”
I shrugged and went to the notebook I had started with some details I picked up. “Crystal?” I said it with about as much surety as I had, which wasn’t a lot.
Lara’s eyes got darker, like a storm was rolling in, and she wanted to know if I was being for real. I told her that I had no idea what she was talking about, but I tried to save the moment. “She isn’t the only one that wanted to meet with you, Lara, several of them did actually. They all think that your designs were great, and you should meet with them.” I stopped for a moment and paused; I was really messing this up. “I thought you’d be happy. I don’t know why you aren’t.”
Lara just sighed loudly and shook her head, like I had no idea what I’d just done. I didn’t apparently, and I was more bummed that she wasn’t happy. I really wanted that if nothing else. She was always trying to pretend like there was nothing wrong, but now she wasn’t.
“Crystal is my old boss that stole my designs. Why do you think I would want to go meet up with her? I didn’t want her to know that I was back in town, and I can only imagine how she is going to react now. She knows that I am trying to come back onto the scene, before I even did. I can’t believe you did that, Nicholas. It’s my career. You should just leave it alone.”
I felt properly chastened, but I could also see that I’d upset her. It wasn’t my intention at all. I was really kicking myself now. I thought it was all going to go so differently. I worried when Lara said she wanted to take a walk, but she wanted her space and I wanted to give it to her. Her ex wasn’t the only one that I could have watched.
Pissed that I had walked right into it, I promised that when she listened to me again, I would be honest about everything. It just meant that if I was going to do anything with Jean Luc, it would have to happen before the truth and promises were said.
22
Lara
Sometimes, I couldn't believe Nicholas. I knew that he was trying to help, really I did, but he wasn't helping. He had to see that, right? The more I thought about it and what he had tried to do, the more I was sad that I had upset him. Of course, he had done everything to keep me safe, and I should be thankful for what he had done for me. I really was, especially what he was trying to do with my designs. It took a lot for him to go place to place I suppose, but that had not worked out either. I hated to think what Crystal had in mind when she said she wanted to see me. He didn't leave anything with her, did he? I really hated the idea of her getting her hands on another one of my designs to copy and steal.
It was better just to let it go. We would be leaving Paris soon, and I didn't want to get my hopes up about my dream coming true. I knew that it wasn't going to happen. I had given up on that dream when I left Paris. I had to or I never would have been able to leave. Now I had to keep it going or I was going to be right back in the same situation I was in. I already tried and I failed. I was moving on, and even though Nicholas had given me help again with all the interest in my designs, I knew that I had to squash it.
When we finally got everything done, we agreed to get out of Paris. It was a hard decision, considering that I wanted to do so much here. I wanted everything that Nicholas had tried to make happen for me. The sadness came when it was time to leave and, again, I was failing to do what I came here to do. Paris had always been the dream. How could I deny it now? What if Nicholas was right and I really could make something of it? I knew that I wanted to. I might go through anything I could to make it happen.
The fight wasn’t in me though, I reminded myself repeatedly. I didn’t know what was going on, but I did know that I needed to get out of Paris. This place made me dream and hope, and at the same time, dragged me through the emotional gutter. I was simply not able to continue as I had before. It was time to get back to reality, marry the man I loved, and live happily ever after. That was more than enough, wasn’t it? I was sure that it was and the more that I thought about it, the better off it sounded.
We got on the plane and even though we were both quiet, had our own thoughts to chew on, I knew that we had a lot to talk about when we got home. We couldn’t stay with my siblings too much longer. We needed our own place. I couldn’t wait until we were alone together, and all of this was in the distant past.
“I’m not used to you being this quiet.”
“I’m plotting,” I assured him. Nicholas smiled like I was joking, and I sent the sentiment right back his way. We both knew that I probably wasn’t joking.
“What are you plotting? Our life together?”
“Something like that.”
The plane ride back was longer than the way there. The mood was different, I was different, and I certainly wasn’t dragging him into the tiny space to fulfill my needs. It wasn’t that sort of trip anymore. Something was between us, and while I wasn’t the only one that was being subdued, I had no idea what Nicholas’s change of mood was all about. With him, there was really no telling.
I talked to my sister most of the way back. She had loved Paris and gushed to me that she could see why I wanted to go out and see the world. While she was still looking to “find herself” I think she had found something to help in that respect. She talked almost the whole way back about where she wanted to go and what she wanted to see. Paris just started her in that direction, and I loved that for her. My sister deserved to be happy and see what was out there for her. Obligation and family had kept her in one place too long.
After talking to her on the way home, I had a good idea that Ashley was going to be moving out from Ashton’s place soon too. He was so worried about leaving her, but it was starting to look like Ashley might be okay after all. Traveling had been good for me, and I knew that it would be good for her too. Going it alone had a lot of benefits, even if it could be a little scary.
Nicholas had some things to handle up when we got back to town. I went to see my parents because it had been a while since I’d been home. They were as happy to see me as I was them. Ashley tagged along and she talked about her new ideas to travel. I could tell by the way that my parents were looking at me, I was going to get the blame for her new found freedom and desire to travel.
“It would be about right, I would finally get one daughter back and lose the other one,” Mom commented wistfully. Both Ashley and I told her that it was going to be okay. I didn’t know if she believed us, but for the first time in a long time, I felt like things actually might work out.
That evening, Nicholas and I sat on the bed at Ashton’s place and we both made the comment that it would be good to get our own place. Nicholas told me that he had been looking into it while he was out. I thought that was a bit soon, but I liked the sound of it too. He apparently wanted to get out of there just as badly as I did. Erin and my brother were newlyweds, as were Nicholas and I going to be. We both needed our space as couples. I worried how it would all work out if we stayed, but since he’d found a couple of places that would be good for us that we were looking at the next day, it was one less thing to focus on. Nicholas was taking care of everything for us.
It simply reminded me how perfect he was. He always took such good care of me and before I could say anything to the new plans, we were kissing and everything else was put on the back burner. Once Nicholas got his hands on me, literally nothing else mattered. It was just the two of us in the house and it showed. I couldn’t wait until it was just us all the time. I was even more committed to finding a place quickly. I wanted to start our new life together sooner rather than later.
Nicholas must have seen something in my eyes. When he kissed me, it was all I could do to hold on tight. Nicholas made me feel like anything was possible. It was a great feeling, but it was a dangerous one as well.
23
Nicholas
Lara was going through something, and I could see it playing out on her face. She was unsure, about us? I wasn’t sure. I just wanted to keep her close and we spent the next couple of days looking at places and then moving, though neither one of us had much to take with us. When we were settled in, the bed was the only furniture that was bought right off the bat and used. We probably spent more time in the bed than out of it.
