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Camila nods at me and stoops to give me a hug before pulling away and looking at her brother.
“We need to talk.” Christian’s voice is choked.
The last thing I want to do is talk to him. Not after what happened last night.
My hands shake as I try to force ice into my veins. I can’t let him see how much this scares me. I need to stay strong.
“I’m going to leave the two of you alone to talk.” Camila gets up and leaves the room.
I don’t want her to go, but this isn’t a conversation that can happen with her here either.
I glance over my shoulder at Christian and shake my head. “I think you said all you needed to say last night with that little show. Your message came through loud and clear. I don’t know how there can be anything left to say after that.”
I want to get as far away from him as possible.
My stomach turns just looking at him.
I knew Christian was a bad man, but I didn’t know that he was capable of that.
How the hell can I stay in this life when I watched him cut a body to pieces? How can I look at him and try to see both sides to the same person with compassion?
As much as I want to get up and run, there is no point.
He would just hunt me down and kill my dad. That’s even clearer now.
Christian crosses the room and takes a seat in the chair next to mine. “You haven’t been to bed yet.”
“You think that I’m going to be able to sleep after watching a body get cut into little pieces?” I scoff, even as my heart starts to race. “There is no way that anyone is going to sleep well after that.”
“You’re right,” he murmurs.
He stares out at the yard, but it looks like he’s a million miles away.
“I had to take you out there last night. There was no other choice. I know that you’re aware that I have to kill people. You know that you’re living in the cartel. It didn’t seem like enough, though. Didn’t seem like you quite understood the real risks of this life.”
I don’t speak for a moment, trying to figure out what there is to say to him. “You’re right. You never should have done that to me last night. Not without warning. If you want to show me the horrors of this world, then fine. Do it. Maybe I am too innocent. However, I’m your wife. That means something to me, even if this is all just some sick game of yours to get back at my father.”
“He owed me a debt. This is the collection.”
I wave a hand. “It doesn’t matter what this is. You owe me more than dragging me out at night to cut a body into pieces. You owe me a warning. If you want me to be aware of the dangers in this life, then I deserve to be warned of those demonstrations. I’ve done nothing wrong.”
Christian hums, nodding as he continues to stare out the window.
His hands flex where they grip the arms of the chair. “I’ll give you a warning next time. I understand that you weren’t prepared to see any of that last night.”
“I might be someone you forced to marry you, but I’m not a toy, Christian. I need to know you understand that.”
This is going to have to be the way I lock away the damage he did last night.
I have to pull myself together. I have to make it clear to him that I will not accept this again.
I need to do one hell of a job pretending that I’m okay, even when I’m falling apart.
His Adam’s apple bobs.
He looks at me for the first time since sitting down, and I can see the sorrow in his eyes.
I’m not sure that the sorrow has anything to do with what he did last night.
