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“I’m not good, Clay.” He leaned into my touch while he said it, and I found myself fascinated by the way his dark lashes lowered in little half-moons. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of — I’ve been the kind of person my dad wanted me to be, if it meant surviving. But…” Jayce opened his eyes. “I’m better off as a front, as muscle. As a pretty face.”
He flashed me a smile, all handsome charm with a chiseled jawline. It made things in my stomach flip.
“I can see it.”
“Who could say no, right? I can do whatever I need to — I can be in Marcus Holden’s shops, I can work on cars. I could lead an organization, and people would listen to me. I’m a perfect face for a monster to hide behind.”
Fuck… he sounded so…
Sad.
“Jayce…” But what words of comfort could I really offer? He was describing me to the letter. Marcus Holden had picked him the same way the government had picked me. I was a face — I was a body. I was whatever I needed to be, whenever they asked me to do it. Connor sent me places when he knew it was my face, my smile, my wide eyes that would get him answers if my skills with a gun couldn’t.
And I couldn’t tell Jayce the same thing he’d told me — I killed when I was paid to do it. I tortured when I had to.
I…
I rose up on tiptoe and pressed my mouth to his, and I didn’t think it was my imagination when I felt his lips trembling against mine. My arms slid around his waist, and I licked his lower lip before pulling back enough to look him in the eyes.
“You aren’t a monster, Jayce.” I had no way of knowing if that was true.
He stared at me for a moment, and then averted his gaze. “You know, they sent me to watch you. Before you came to the shop, before you ever knew who I was. I knew you.”
I stared at him for a moment, letting his words process. On some level, I might have felt violated, if I had any right to. I’d lied to him — I was still lying to him — and honestly, we’d expected someone to be watching me. That was why I had to keep my cover so perfectly intact. It was why I’d pretended to be under Keyton’s control, even though I’d killed the man. I finally blew out a breath.
“You could have warned me your family was so shitty before I walked into that garage, I guess. But…” I bit my lip and shrugged. “It makes sense they had someone trailing me. You should have said something sooner —”
“I —” I cut off the guilt.
“Like the first time you saw me. We could have avoided a lot of mess. We’d probably be halfway across the world by now, sipping fancy drinks and away from… all of this.”
He stared at me for a second, some mixture of wonder and guilt still crossing his features.
“I stalked you.”
“I know.”
“I stalked you, Clay. For weeks.”
“I guess you were good at your job, Jayce. I never noticed.” I smiled, realizing I really didn’t care. When I tried to step into him, step closer, he drew back to search my face. I could see the trepidation still painted clearly across his features.
“I’m… still a Holden. Even if I don’t want to be.”
Even if I don’t want to be.
Was there more than one reason I hadn’t found him in my research? Was he trying to get away from all of this?
Did he want to be more than his father’s legacy?
The sudden urge to complete my mission rushed through me so violently it made my stomach clench, my fingers twitch against his leather jacket. I wanted to kill Marcus Holden — if I did, Jayce wouldn’t look like this anymore.
If I killed him, Jayce would be free from the ties that seemed ready to strangle him at any given moment.
“Is that why you’re running away? Because you don’t want to be your father’s son?”
“I’m not —” he cut himself off and sighed, then dropped his head on my shoulder so he could speak with his warm breath tickling against my neck. “I’m not running for myself. You know that though, don’t you?”
I did.
