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His weary eyes are now tinged with red, and his jaw ticks as he waits for my response. Despite my monotone voice and the lack of expression on my face, my heart shatters. Despite his coarseness, I truly love him, and it pains me to be putting him through this. But one thing I’m certain of more than anything is Enzo will never let me go as long as I’m carrying the child. He’ll use the child to have a tight hold over me. Another awful truth he’s capable of using his child as a weapon against me.
I can’t have it. I won’t. Do not waver, Kelly. It will all soon be over.
“There is something you need to know. And you may have to sit down for this,” I say gesturing to a space by the suitcase.
“I’m not sitting, Kelly. Just spit it out, whatever it is you have to say.”
"I messed up, Enzo. I lost our baby," I admit, ready for his reaction.
His face drops. time seems to slow as he processes the news, his entire being freezing in response. In a second, the atmosphere shifts, and an unsettling transformation overcomes him. His once steady gaze turns in to an intense blood-red glare, and his nose flares as if he’s trying to suck in enough air to calm his wildly raging emotions.
The monster he’s kept hidden, for a brief moment, comes to the surface, and it chills my spine. I unconsciously take two steps backward.
“What the FUCK are you talking about? You were perfectly healthy, and there was nothing wrong. So, HOW in hell could you have lost the baby?"
“It…” My voice falters for a second but quickly recovers. “I had a miscarriage.”
“Don’t you FUCKING lie to me, Kelly,” he roars. “Don’t you dare! I don’t believe you for a second.”
In a flash, he leaps toward me, grabs me tightly by the wrist, and starts pulling me to the door.
“We’re going to the doctor right this instant,” he growls.
“Let go of me, Enzo. You’re hurting me,” I plead, but his ears are deaf to my pleas.
The calm expression I was wearing fell to pieces. With all the strength and will I can muster, I rip my hands from his grip. He turns to look at me, and I bring my palm down hard on his face.
“Don’t you EVER fucking touch me, Enzo!” I scream, rubbing my stinging palm.
He raises his finger; his voice is calm but thick with rage.
“You did this. It’s all your fault. You’re so scared of commitment, you got rid of my child. You are a murderer, you f…”
I slap him again, harder this time, cutting him off mid-sentence.
“How dare you, Lorenzo Lombardi! Even if I hadn’t lost the child, I would never want to raise a child with someone as HORRIBLE and CONTROL FREAK like you!” I yell.
“When you found I was with child, your child, you acted like you owned me… like carrying your child gave you some hold over me to trap me in being with you. And sure, I certainly have issues to deal with. At first, I was terrified of being a mother, settling down, and raising a family of my own, BUT I was prepared for it. I even looked forward to it. But I now see I would have been signing up to raise my child with a child.” I spit.
My words don’t faze the unbridled rage that contorts his face in an angry mask. “I can't even look at you right now. I’m going to leave before I do something I'll regret.” Enzo turns his back on me.
“What are you going to do?” I yell after him. “Hit me?”
He shoots me one last glare as he walks out of the room and slams the door so hard that the entire room shakes.
I crumple down to the ground, my body quivering with the force of a deep, wrenching sob. Despite the hurt of it all, every word I just uttered was the truth. I sniffle and breathe in deeply to calm myself. I place my palm on my stomach and rub it in little circles.
I have no regrets about my actions. If I'm gonna do this and grow a life inside me, it's gonna be on my own terms in a healthy environment. Our relationship, however nice it may have been, is tainted with toxicity.
“You did the right thing,” I mutter to myself.
I wipe my already-drying tears with my sleeve and pick myself up.
I’m going to do right by you, little one.
20
Enzo
