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“You guys are really stuck,” I said with a laugh that prompted everyone but Jake and John to join in on the humor.
“I’m taking a picture of this,” Elena said, pulling out her cellphone from the backpack she’d been wearing down the mountain.
“Good because that’s going to last longer than John and I being stuck in this shit,” Jake answered.
“Give me your hand,” John said to Jake. “Maybe we can pull toward each other and crawl out of this.”
“Good idea,” Jake said, both in a survival situation to save their lives from the depth of the snow that’d swallowed them up.
“How is that supposed to work?” Collin questioned, watching with humor and some satisfaction that his friends were royally fucked right now.
“We pull each other out,” Jake answered as if he’d solved the problem.
“You do know you’re still wearing your skis, correct?” Collin questioned them. “You’re both fucked.”
We all started laughing again. I knew it was all fun and games, but we did need to find a way to get the guys out of this situation.
“Jesus Christ,” Jake said, looking at John.
“My balls are starting to get hypothermic,” John answered him.
“Well, my balls are triple-layered.”
“I’m getting ski patrol,” Collin said, almost excited to announce it.
“The fuck you are,” John answered. “We don’t need fucking ski patrol.”
“I’m getting ski patrol,” Collin said to Ashley. “We’ll most likely be back before they turn purple.”
“For fuck’s sake,” Jake answered.
“You’re the dumbasses who wanted to take this trail,” Avery said.
“And now we’re all waiting on ski patrol to rescue you two,” Elena laughed.
“God in heaven,” John started laughing. “It’s only because the girls are here. This shit wasn’t even close to happening before they showed up.”
It was an hour of Jake and John bitching, laughing, and then the jokes started flying about dying because they were so cold that they couldn’t feel their legs.
“They’re right this way,” Collin said as we heard two ski mobiles coming through with stretchers. “Buried up to their chests.”
The engines cut on the snowmobiles, and Avery and Elena got their cellphone videos rolling. I couldn’t take my eyes off the two badasses being approached by a ski patrol man and woman walking out to them in snowshoes.
“Well, well,” the man said with a smirk. “We finally caught you two, eh?”
“Mountain caught us,” Jake said.
“Well, that’s the same thing. You see, all you kids come up here and think you can ski wherever you want, and now we’re here to say, stay on the groomed trails for your safety,” the lady said as John and Jake’s egos kept deflating.
“Seriously, man,” the guy added, pulling on Jake after using a shovel to dig him out.
“Well, I do this shit all of the time,” John argued as I chuckled with Avery at my side.
“Right,” Avery said softly. “They gotta act like they’re still in charge even though their balls are frozen off, and their egos are shot to shit.”
“Ha,” I answered once John was freed and the patrolman clicked his boots out of his skis.
“Okay, we’ll ride you down to the medical building and warm you both up. Once they clear you, you guys can return to skiing on the groomed slopes,” the lady advised.
