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Mickie laughed, but I knew the real challenge wasn’t this bowl of chili. It was assuring her that I’d never hurt her again, and it was going to take real work.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
John
The fireworks were spectacular. The most entertaining part was watching people light the bottle rockets and shit with the lit ends of their cigarettes.
About fifty people—Mick’s cousins and friends—joined this backyard party, but I hardly saw any of these people. All I saw was Mickie and how she smiled with the excitement of a little girl as sparkles and embers from the fireworks fell all around her after her dad set off a display that shot up past the trees and exploded in the sky just for her.
She’d loosened up a couple of beers ago, and that’s when I got to see my favorite side of the woman I’d fallen in love with. She danced and teased the others as they lit their fireworks, filled with a child-like joy I’d never seen from her before.
Her parents mainly kept in conversation with the people I assumed were their neighbors…or maybe their cousins. I couldn’t keep everyone straight anymore, but I noticed everyone referred to Mickie’s dad as Coach Tim. Watching how the man held himself and puffed on his cigar, I’d be a fool not to call him Coach Tim, too.
Her mom seemed to keep her distance from me, and though I could easily understand why—I was the asshole who hurt her daughter—it made me wonder why the woman allowed me in her home if she didn’t like me. I had to admit I was intimidated by the woman; Alice was quite the opposite of Coach Tim. She was highly proper, and ever since Mickie told me her mom was a school principal, that’s all I could see when I looked at her. She didn’t look like a woman you wanted to cross.
“Are the fireworks here any different than in New York?” Alice said as if my thoughts had manifested her.
I turned from where I’d thrown my beer bottle in the kitchen recycling can and smiled at her, “No, ma’am.”
“Ma’am?” she offered me a smile of sympathy. “Well, now I’m certain someone has told you I’m a principal if you’re using those manners on me.”
I sighed, “I’m sorry. Should I call you Alice? We haven’t spoken much tonight, so I’m unsure?—”
“I’m sorry for that,” she said, smiling while covering the food trays with foil. “When we have this many visitors, I am shocked when I’m finally able to sit down and eat something myself.”
“Everything was lovely, and I truly appreciate you opening your home to me,” I said, trying to help her tidy up her dining area.
“Now, don’t you dare lift a hand,” she said, batting my hand away from covering the tray of baked beans. “If one thing gets out of order, you’ll face my wrath,” she chuckled.
“Well, then I’ll leave you to it,” I said, not knowing how to approach her.
“Tell me something, John,” she said directly, stopping me from walking away.
“Sure,” I offered.
“Do you love Mikayla?”
Oh, shit.
“I’ve fallen extremely hard for your daughter, yes, and the pain I’ve put her through is unforgivable.”
She turned to face me with a solemn expression that only a mother could wear when coming to the defense of her daughter.
“It is,” she confirmed with a friendly acknowledgment. “Unfortunately, just as that pain is unforgivable, love can also be quite difficult to discern. Therefore, pain and heartbreak are inevitable.”
“I’m not sure I’m following you,” I honestly and curiously responded to her.
“When you love someone, nothing and no one can come between you. I would imagine if you loved Mikayla, nothing could have stepped into the middle of that, ending things the way I’ve been told.”
“Ah,” I said, feeling a metric ton of shame bearing down on me. “You know, I’ve had much time to think about that. I was raised a spoiled, rich, golden child,” I smiled, but she didn’t, so I continued, feeling like an idiot. “Well, unfortunately for me, I was raised to believe that whatever excuses I made would absolve me of any bad behavior I displayed, but I realize now how wrong I was. I never thought any of my family issues would hurt Mickie. I believe I was only thinking of myself.”
“Well, that’s easy for everyone to see,” she answered. “May I ask what changed to make you believe she should give you another chance?”
“Now, I know I don’t deserve her and that no woman out there could ever replace her in my heart. I didn’t believe I was missing anything in my life until I put myself in a position to lose her.”
“And your parents?” she questioned. “What will they think if you choose to be with a woman they don’t approve of?”
I was angry at the reminder of my parents. I wasn’t upset at Alice for mentioning the truth of the situation, but I was angry at my parents for nearly costing me everything. Even more, I was mad at myself for not realizing their game sooner and avoiding all this unnecessary suffering.
