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“I see the mention of your family disturbs you,” Alice said with a curious look.
“It does because of what they have cost me,” I answered truthfully. “It’s about more than losing Mickie, too. The short story is that my whole mentality was shaped in a bubble; I was made to believe my parents are better people than they are and that my family is God’s gift to humanity, amongst other ridiculous things. All that brainwashing—for lack of a better word—caused me to hurt a lot of people, most of all, myself.”
“I understand. And, my dear boy,” she chuckled, “don’t fret over this too much. Many of us have had parents or in-laws who pass on their trauma to us. We can allow it to destroy us or learn and grow from it.”
“Right, well, it’s my greatest hope that I’ve learned from it. I mean,” I waved my hand around the room, “just being here and spending time with you and your friends was good for my soul.” I smiled, loving how relaxed and happy I was in this environment, “I never experienced anything like this growing up. My parents never had any real friends. They surround themselves with sycophants and yes-men. I suppose it reinforces the lies they tell themselves about their importance.”
“You know,” she smiled sympathetically, “most insecure people are like that.”
“My parents are far from insecure, trust me,” I chuckled at that truth.
“Is that so?” she arched an eyebrow resembling Mickie’s famous expression. “The way I see it, your parents are extremely insecure.”
I smiled, taking the beer she pulled out of the fridge and handed to me after grabbing one for herself. As we both twisted off our bottle caps, I couldn’t help but be charmed by this woman. She might’ve been intimidating, but she was intelligent and articulate, and I was coming to feel very comfortable in her presence.
“I’m very curious as to why you think that. A lot of very powerful people are intimidated by them.”
“Well, anyone who uses money for threats to control their children is just giving themselves away. But you used a very specific term, brainwashing, right?”
“Yes.”
“Any parent who feels they should dictate rules or conduct through methods of manipulation is doing so because they are not secure in the belief that they are worthy of your love. Do you understand?” Her gentle way of explaining something that should’ve always been so obvious blew my mind. She unlocked a level of realization about my parents in my brain that I would need to take some serious time to unpack.
“Interesting,” was all I could manage to say as my thoughts were reeling that my parents’ façade of being mighty and untouchable was just a cover for being insecure assholes.
“Could you imagine loving my daughter as you do and bringing her into a family like that?” she added.
I rolled my eyes, “My family would’ve never approved.”
“Let’s say they did,” she smiled. “Let’s say they rooted for the marriage and were so happy for you. You know, because they are afraid to lose their son.”
“Okay?”
“They’d play along with this wedding to Mickie, and then, one day, they became their true selves with my daughter?”
“I would’ve protected her from them.”
“Is that so?” she said with that eyebrow arch again. “Tell me, how would you have protected her from your parents if you can’t protect yourself from them?”
“Well, I’m no longer speaking to them.”
“Okay, let’s say you rekindle this relationship; what then? Let’s say they suddenly adore Mickie because they don’t want to lose you again. Do you believe it will stay that way, or will you revert to your old patterns and belief systems because it is familiar?”
“I honestly don’t see myself ever speaking to them again.”
“Your parents are afraid to lose their children,” she answered, “so I hate to break it to you, but you will speak to them again. And when you do, you must be prepared to put boundaries in place because if you don’t, it will destroy you both, and you won’t even see the day coming.”
“Shit, now you’re scaring me.”
“Nothing to be afraid of,” she smiled. “It’s why I asked if you truly loved my daughter. You need to know this before you go back down that road with her again. She is a loving, smart, driven, and extremely loyal woman. Her traveling to Monaco for that wedding, only to be shamed by your family, should prove that she’ll do anything it takes to make and keep you happy,” she said, observing me as I soaked up her advice, trying to organize my many thoughts. “You must be willing and able to protect your wife from people who mean her harm, and I see you have, for the time being, put them in their place. But when they return with their charms and loving words, and all is forgiven, will they work to reclaim their son or let him be free? It’s up to you. They only have control over your weakness if you allow it.”
“Mickie means more to me than my family. I know that now. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I knew it the moment I knew I might never get her back,” I said. “But I swear, if Mickie would grant me the honor of being with me again, I will never let my parents hurt her again.”
“A hard lesson learned indeed,” she answered. “I see the sincerity in your eyes, but I can sense your hesitation. I’m not saying these things because I want to pressure you or enforce my will. My daughter is an adult and knows how to make her own decisions, but I thought I should give you an objective point of view, not muddled by wishful thinking or broken promises. So, I offer you this advice: think hard about this matter before you take the woman you love down this road again. Mickie deserves a man who will put her above everyone else.”
“I agree, and I promise I will think very seriously about what we’ve discussed,” I said. “I just don’t know if I’ll ever be given another chance.”
“Give her time. You both need that,” she smiled. “Rebuild a solid friendship and foundation, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly everything falls back into place…if it’s meant to be, of course. But whatever you do, don’t force anything. Let Mickie come back to you when her heart is ready. If you do that,” she grinned, “she’ll make you the happiest man on the planet.”
