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“I intend on making her the happiest woman on the planet,” I countered.
“And now we’re talking,” she winked. “You know what? You’re not so bad, Dr. John Aster. You have some growing to do, but I can see you getting there so long as you keep those priorities straight.”
“Thanks, Alice,” I answered.
“Now, cancel that damn hotel,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “I had Tim fix his office for you to use while you’re here. The days of playing romance games are over. You and Mickie need some time to consider if you want this to work, and I will not be having a friend of hers from out of state staying at a hotel.”
“Did you just say a swear word, Mom?” I heard Mickie say with a laugh.
“I don’t know,” she took another sip of her beer. “You’ve been hiding behind that wall the whole time I’ve talked to John, so you tell me?”
I turned and smiled slyly as Mickie’s cheeks flushed and the embarrassment filled her widened eyes.
“Mom!”
I chuckled, “It’s fine by me. Hopefully, I answered your mom well enough to gain a little trust from you since everything else I’ve been doing hasn’t really been striking the matchbook.”
“Oh, eating that chili was definitely striking the matchbook,” she teased back, using the term I’d overheard Cousin Marty say earlier when he was talking about catching fish.
“And now you’re spending the night here?” she cringed.
“I’ll stay at the hotel,” I said. The last thing I wanted to do was overstep.
“Well, I won’t stop you because when that chili cleans out your intestines in the early morning hours, we won’t have to smell it or hear your cries for help.”
I laughed with her, and then, for the first time in what felt like forever, I hugged the one woman I loved. I nearly crumbled into her embrace, smelling the strawberries and vanilla fragrance of her perfume that I’d missed more than the sex itself with this woman.
I loved her so much, and I would give her all the time in the world to decide if she wanted me back. Would waiting be easy? No. But it would be more difficult to spend my life without her.
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Mickie
The difficulty I had keeping this protective barrier around my heart was more than words could describe. John was a natural charmer, hence the reason I was in this position with him and second chances to begin with.
If I hadn’t fallen for him and been able to refuse him as I should’ve in the beginning, none of this would be so damn trying, testing every part of my being. I didn’t want to be nasty about things—I wanted to trust him and take him back with his simple words, smiles, and gifts because I loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone—but I couldn’t afford the emotional pain of losing him again.
I knew I was overthinking things and being overprotective of myself, but I didn’t want to be a fool, and had I been thinking this way with John from the beginning, I wouldn’t be in this situation.
I suppose my conundrum was this: am I an idiot to even think about giving him another shot, or am I an idiot for keeping the man I love at a distance when he is trying his best to show he loves me? Was it safe to follow my heart, or was that the most dangerous thing to listen to?
What the fuck was I supposed to do?
Other than that, I was doing great. I’d watched John charm the pants off everyone who attended the party last night. He had them all eating out of his perfect hands, laughing and joking just like everyone did when they were around the man.
Mom insisted he stay the night, and after joking around about it for a while, I conceded, and he agreed to sleep over. After I heard him talking with Mom in the kitchen, I could tell she wouldn’t let him drive twenty minutes to a hotel he hadn’t even checked into yet, especially so late at night.
Mom tended to see through all of us as if we were children, and sometimes, it could be downright annoying, but I was grateful for it last night because I needed to hear how John felt about her concerns. What I needed to hear the most was that he seemed solid on the fact that he didn’t care whether his family accepted me; he loved me, and I was the one he wanted, not his parents or their money.
That was huge, and after Jake and Ash told me about his tiny apartment in a shitty part of Orange County, it was apparent he wasn’t using his parents’ money for his living arrangements. What I didn’t get was why a very well-paid doctor chose a fleabag to live in. I could only assume he was trying to punish himself and prove to me that he was willing to live in unnecessary poverty, which secretly made me want to laugh because his money was never the issue. Regardless of whether that was his intention, I admired his commitment to change.
The day before I flew to Tennessee, he told me, ‘I fully understand that money can’t buy my happiness. You are my only happiness.’ After overhearing most of his conversation with my mom, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe things were adding up a lot faster than I imagined, and the torture of this would be over soon.
“Overeasy or underdone?” John said with a laugh, taking a sip of freshly poured coffee my mom had handed him.
“Underdone? What the hell is that?” my dad questioned.
“I can’t remember what you call it when the eggs are pretty much flame kissed?” John chuckled while Mom took the biscuits out of the oven.
