AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You would see it that way.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter how noble your decision was, I would rather have been told what was happening. I would rather have faced it myself. Not having to think that you didn’t care, that you wanted me dead.”
“If I’d wanted you dead, the shot would have killed you, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have helped you escape.”
“I know, but?—”
“How do you think it felt for me to watch you lying there on the ground, bleeding? How do you think it felt to send you away and not know if you were going to survive? To not know if I’d miss calculated, if I’d hit something vital?”
“You gave me no reason to think you weren’t pleased. I had no reason to think you didn’t simply join the cartel. I thought you had been manipulating me, making me want you, making me think you wanted me.”
“You would have if you’d paid attention. If you’d actually listened to what I told you, to the way I worshipped you.”
“So I was supposed to just believe in you, even though you shot me and left with the enemy? Even though you were responsible for us having to pull our unit out?”
“No. Yes. Dammit I don’t know.” He kissed me again.
He wrapped a hand around my throat, pinning me back against the couch. I took hold of his hips and pulled him against me, needing to feel how hard he was for me. I needed him to be as insane as I was. I couldn’t stop a groan spilling from my mouth when I felt his hard length against mine.
“You like that, don’t you? You like feeling what you do to me? You make me hard as fuck, make me need you, make me willing to do anything to have you, to keep you safe. Do you get off on that, on knowing how much power you have over me?”
“I don’t….”
“Yes, you fucking do.”
He grabbed my wrists and dragged them back to the couch, pinning them in place as he kissed me again, his body rubbing against mine as he thrust his tongue into my mouth. I lost myself in the kiss. My cock was leaking so badly there was surely a wet spot on the front of my pants. I needed to release it. I needed more. I struggled against his hold. “I want you naked.”
“No, you don’t get that. You don’t get to touch me or see me or feel me thrusting deep into you until you tell me how you feel.”
I looked up at him, half dazed. “What?”
“You won’t get anything more from me, not my dick, not my ass, not my mouth or my tongue against your ass, until you tell me you want it. I need to hear you say it. I need the fucking truth.”
“No.”
“Yes. You’re going to confess it all to me, how you feel, that you trust me, that you won’t push me away again.”
I shook my head, pressing my lips together, scared the words would come out without my permission.
He moved his hips. The slow drag of his cock against mine, even through layers of fabric, had me bucking up, trying to get more. He let go of one of my wrists and wrapped his hand around my throat, shoving me into the couch. “Fucking say it.”
“Can’t.” I could barely get the word out with his pressure on my windpipe.
He squeezed me tighter, completely cutting off my air. I met his gaze, but I didn’t struggle. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
Finally, he released me, pushing me away and standing.
“So it’s going to be like it always was, huh? You beg me, open for me, surrender to me in bed, but as soon as we’re done, you tell me you hate me. You don’t want anything to do with me. You’re never going to trust me, are you, never going to see….”
“See what…?”
“Damn it Carter, why do you think I did what I did?”
“Because you didn’t want me to die.”
“That’s it? Just because I’m such a nice fucking guy I decided to save you?” He stomped off to the office and slammed the door.
The sound echoed through the cabin and through me, jarring things loose that I needed to keep walled up. My throat felt closed off, my lungs unable to get enough air. I was going to puke or pass out or something. I had to get out of there.
