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24
PAXTON
It’s my favorite day of the week. It’s the day that Ruby has to show up for her mandatory fake-girlfriend duties.
The criminal case is still pending. Becca refused to speak to the police, which was probably the only smart thing that girl has ever done in her life. Nick has to go to court in a couple of weeks. Apparently, he’s still stubbornly sticking to his story and is willing to perjure himself if necessary. He’s even embellished it, trying to make it look like Ruby somehow blackmailed him into going to the professor’s house.
Which means I’m still useful to Ruby, and she’s still stuck with me.
Today I bought Ruby a very fancy girly dress with a million ruffles on it, which is completely not her style, and she has to wear it. I let her pick where we’re going for lunch, though. I’m not a complete bastard.
“How you doing back there, sugar britches?” I call as I check my hair in the hallway mirror. My hair is awesome, if I do say so myself. That’s why one of my endorsement deals is for men’s shampoo and conditioner. For men who want to have manly hair, I guess.
“Can you please just pick one incredibly annoying nickname and stick to it?” she yells from my bathroom.
“No, I like to keep you on your toes.”
“Well, Sir Royal Jerkface of Jerkington Parish, I will be ready in about two minutes, unless you call me sugar britches again, in which case you can change that to about two hours.”
“Right-o, honeybuns,” I chuckle at her strangled shriek of annoyance.
There’s a rap on my door, which would have to be my driver. I live in a building with a doorman, and he would only let in someone who’s on my pre-approved list.
Today is going to be a good day, I decide, as I yank open the door. Nothing can ruin today.
Nothing except my mother, who’s standing at my doorway with a huge smile.
She’s wearing her usual country-chic slacks, tan, with a silk print blouse and a matching scarf around her neck, held in place with some kind of sparkly jewel thing. Her hair, as always, is a frosty-blond bob that’s smooth and shiny.
“Mom,” I choke out, eyes widening. “I mean, hi. What are you doing here?”
And can I get rid of her before she finds out that Ruby is in my apartment?
She flashes a brilliant smile at me. “Surprise! I came to see your exhibition game, and I’m staying in town for a few days.”
The old, bitter, dark part of me wants to say something about how that must mean my brothers are tied up and don’t have any time for her, but that’s the kind of thing I think in my head. I would never say it out loud.
“That’s so great.” I step out into the hall, partly closing the door behind me. “Where are you staying? Do you need a ride there? I’ll call you a ride right now. I can take you out to dinner tonight. Anywhere you want.” I’m babbling. Only my mother has this effect on me.
“Well, I thought you might have a little time to spend with me before I ran off. Or we could share a cab or your limo, if you’re going somewhere. Is everything all right?” She gives me a puzzled frown.
“Look, I really did get ready in two minutes! Miracles happen!” Ruby calls from inside the apartment. “Why are you standing out in the hall? Are you leaving without me? Who’s here?”
“Oh, it’s Ruby.” My mother’s face lights up. Reluctantly, I open the door and step back inside my apartment.
Why is the universe out to get me? Of all the days and times for my mother to show up here...
“Were you going to invite your mother in?” Ruby gives me a baffled look.
“Of course, of course.” I step aside and let my mother in, dragging her pink wheelie suitcase behind her.
My mother throws her arms around Ruby and crushes her in a hug.
“You smell fantastic,” Ruby says to her. “What is that?”
“You like it?” My mother beams. “It’s Gardenia by Chanel. I’m going to get you a bottle.”
“Oh, no, that’s too much,” Ruby says, but of course it’s a lost cause. My mother will have that bottle for her by tonight, hand-wrapped, with a handwritten note.
