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‘Yes, please.’ Her voice was a whisper.
As he finished, he put a hand on each of her shoulders. She didn’t say or do anything. She stood stock still until he took them away and left the room. Then she collapsed onto the edge of her bed, not sure where to put any of the feelings that were whirling around inside her. Where on earth was she going to find the strength to get through the day?
37
Now
As Nikki headed down the drive to Windcutter Farm, it began to rain. Swathes of water swept across the horizon, turning everything to grey: the sky, the sea, the sand. Wet rain, they called it – not the gentle kiss of a summer shower, but a deluge. This kind of weather always unsettled Nikki. She headed out in her wellingtons and floor-length waterproofs and a hat. Tamsin made coffee in her kitchen for the team and the plans were spread out on the table. Nikki gave her usual welcoming talk to everyone who was going to be involved in Phoebe and Alec’s wedding.
‘This is a blueprint for the future, so we have to get it right. If we can make this a success, there’s a future here at Windcutter for all of us. I want you all to work together to make sure there are no glitches. I’ve created a WhatsApp group for us, so we can check in with each other on any queries. Communication is the key. And I’m available twenty-four-seven to make sure everything joins up.’
Armed with umbrellas – Nikki had a stash of them which she used for wet weddings – she and Tamsin led the procession out to the field in the downpour. It took nearly an hour for everyone to mark out where everything needed to go – the marquee, the toilets, the mobile kitchen, the parking, the generators – but eventually Nikki had a site map she felt happy with.
Afterwards, Tamsin made tomato soup and they went over the details, making sure there was nothing they had forgotten.
‘You can have all the flower clouds and grazing platters you like, but if we run out of power or water or the loos don’t flush, that’s what everyone will remember.’ Nikki was feeling that cocktail of adrenaline and panic she always felt when she was committed but everything hadn’t quite been ironed out.
By four o’clock, the rain had stopped and the sun popped out as if it had just gone to the shops. Nikki and Tamsin took their mugs of soup back to the field and sat on the fence. As the sea in the distance turned from dreary battleship to aquamarine, and the sky turned to periwinkle, the flowers in the meadow opened and the air smelled sweet, of heady blossom with a sprinkling of salt.
‘What do you think the dads would think, if they saw us?’ Tamsin asked. ‘Two old spinsters sitting in their gum boots, plotting world domination?’
‘Spinsters?’ Nikki wrinkled her nose. ‘We’re strong, independent women. No one tells us what to do. We’re amazing.’
It was the talk she gave herself when her confidence failed her. And it was true. Everything she had got, she had got for herself. She didn’t answer to anyone. And nor did Tamsin.
‘By the way,’ she said, ‘I’ve invited Jess to Bali. You don’t mind, do you? I know she’s full on, but I think she needs a break.’
‘The more the merrier,’ said Tamsin. She’d grown up with Jess so she knew her ways. ‘It’ll be fun. A girls’ trip. Though I kind of hate that expression. Always makes me feel as if I should have my nails painted and put fake tan on my legs.’ She looked at her hands. Farming hands, a bit rough and chapped, with ragged nails. ‘I’m looking forward to a massage, though. And a few cocktails on the beach. And seeing my godson.’
Nikki laughed. ‘He’s making plans already.’ Goodness knows what Bill would have up his sleeve, but it wouldn’t be boring.
She felt a sudden wave of tiredness, after the drama of the early morning rescue and the stress of the site meeting. She should go back to the office and consolidate the morning’s decision by sending out follow-up emails, but the thought of going home was tempting. Though she wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing Adam.
‘I made a bit of a tit of myself with my neighbour this morning,’ she told Tamsin. ‘Not that I think he noticed.’
‘Your neighbour?’
‘Yeah. I thought we were heading in a certain direction, but turns out we weren’t.’
‘Nik! You dark horse. You’ve kept this quiet.’ Tamsin loved a bit of gossip.
‘He’s really lovely. He’s … everything. Smart and funny and kind and … hot. And a brilliant cook.’ Nikki couldn’t keep the smile off her face. ‘But obviously it’s ridiculous. We’re neighbours. And he’s widowed. His wife sounded amazing. She was a consultant anaesthetist. And really talented. One of those women who can do everything.’
‘Like you, you mean?’ Tamsin glared at her. ‘Honestly, Nik – you don’t give yourself enough credit. You’re a legend. You keep everyone together. You’ve got a super successful business. And you’re seriously hot.’ She looked at her. Nikki was in a hoodie and leggings and wellies, her site-visit uniform, still bedraggled from the downpour. ‘Well, when you make an effort.’
Nikki put her hand up, laughing. ‘OK, OK. But I’m pretty sure he’s not interested.’
‘He’s probably just nervous. It’s probably a big deal for him. Maybe you need to make the first move?’
‘Oh my God, I couldn’t. But he’s the first person to make me feel …’ Nikki drifted off in a reverie.
‘Feel what?’
‘Well, anything, to be honest. Since …’
‘Since?’
Nikki shrugged. ‘Since forever. I don’t know. He’s just … special. He’s got a glow.’
