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“I haven’t even told you what the promise is.”
“Whatever you want from me, it’s yours.”
I sighed, sparing a glance at the empty glass container where my pendant should have sat beside his.
What is meant for you cannot be taken away.
I lowered my chin, staring at the floor, rushing out my request in one breath. “Promise me you won’t contact me for one entire month.”
“Excuse me?” He went eerily still. “And if I can’t live without you?”
“You did for thirty-three years.”
“That was before. And it was hardly living.”
“We’re not even dating.”
“Then, let’s start.”
“You’re engaged.”
“I’m breaking up wi?—”
I held up a hand, stopping him. “Can I explain?”
“Yes.” His reluctance rivaled a toddler’s in the face of Brussel sprouts.
“These hands used to hold swords and slay dreams.” I stared at my open palms. “Now they’re just…empty.”
“I can get you an Olympic spot.”
“Evenifyou could, I don’t know if I want it. I don’t know what I want in general, now that Vera and Andras are locked up, my reputation is ruined, and I learned that Dad gave up everything for me.”
Zach tugged the edge of my sleeve. “His death isn’t your fault.”
“I know that logically, but I need time to accept it. Time, Zach.It’s what I’m asking for. To heal, to figure out who I am, and to know myself well enough to know what I want. I am so scared of turning into Vera, chasing all the wrong things.”
“You are nothing like Vera.”
“And yet, every ounce of me fears becoming her.”
I pressed a hand to his chest, studying him. He looked so frustrated, and angry, and confused, I wanted to abort mission, make a U-turn, and leap into his arms.
But I couldn’t.
“I love you, Zachary Sun.”
My first. My only. My always.
I knew, even before I said it, that it was true. I fell in love with him like the snow. The more I fell, the colder it became.
“Farrow—”
I held up a hand again, wanting to lower it when it looked like he’d combust on the spot.
“I don’t expect you to say it back. In fact, I don’twantyou to. Not now, at least. I just want you to know that I love you.”
“Why?”
