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“I don’t know.” Heat crept up my cheeks, trekking to the tips of my ears. “I don’t want to say it’s because you help me, because you make me feel good, or even because you’re all I think about these days. These reasons feel so shallow.” I shook my head, grabbing the back of my neck. “If you asked me right now, I couldn’t give you a real answer. Just that… I love you because I love you. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
“I’ll take it.”
“ButIwon’t. I don’t know myself well enough to explain what it is I love about you. I just know I do. More than I’ve ever loved anything in my life. Shouldn’t I at least figure that out?”
All I remembered of my life was fighting—fighting Vera, fighting Tabby and Reggie, fighting in fencing, fightingZach.
I didn’t know who I was without that.
I stared down at my Prada sneakers—one of my birthday gifts from him. It squeaked against the wooden desk as I kicked my feet back and forth.
I needed to do some soul searching, to put myself first before I could love anyone else. And he had a big mess that required cleaning.
Initially, I’d planned on telling him about Eileen, but he needed to hear it from her. And if he didn’t, if he stayed with her, then we were never meant to be.
“Let’s take a month apart. To deal with the things we need to dealwith.” I leaned over his desk, grabbed a red Sharpie, and snatched the tiny calendar he never used, circling the date a month from today. “If you love me as much as I love you, you’ll come back to me, Zachary Sun. I’ll be waiting.”
He looked ready to hand me over to Dr. Sullivan to check out my brain.
Finally, he managed to grumble, “If this is what you want.”
I mustered a grin. “Can’t wait to get rid of me, huh?”
Inside, my heart crumbled like a stale cookie.
After a moment of silence, I hopped off the desk, sliding my hands in my pockets, unsure of how to exit. “I guess this is it.”
He didn’t say anything.
I waited a few more seconds.
Say something. Anything.
He didn’t.
With a sigh, I trudged out the office and down the steps. It wasn’t until my hand hit the front door that I heard him approach from behind.
“Wait.”
I paused but didn’t turn, holding my breath, tensing when something slipped into my hand.
An electronic key.
I flipped it in my palm. “What is this?”
“For the garage.”
I still didn’t turn. “Why?”
“I moved your stuff into there earlier.”
Oh, God.
I felt like a total idiot.
Here I was, telling him I loved him, and he’d moved my things into his garage?
We’d only been apart one hour since we’d landed—the time it took me to get from the airport to my childhood home and confront Vera and Andras.
