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“Jinny’s coming over soon,” she said. “I have to get back to my apartment.” That much was the truth, at least. She turned her back on him and his unfairly attractive sex hair and grabbed her underwear off the floor.

“Oh.” She could hear the disappointment in his voice. The hurt. It made her glad she wasn’t looking at him. “Can I see you later?”

“Um.” Her jeans were wadded up at the foot of the bed, and she snatched them off the floor. “I don’t know how long she’ll be here.” She nearly fell over trying to struggle into her pants. Stupid skinny jeans that made her ass look hot. She never should have worn them. She shouldn’t have worn the low-cut top either. It was like she’d wanted this to happen.

Because she had.

Admit it, you’ve been lusting after him for weeks.

“Oh,” he said again.

She kicked his pants aside, searching for her shoes. Refusing to look at him. “I’ll text you,” she said, hating the sound of the words as they came out of her mouth.

“Okay.”

She got down on her hands and knees and peered under the bed. Aha! She retrieved her shoes and stood up, still avoiding his eyes. An edge of familiar blue lace caught her eye, peeking out from under Jonathan’s boxer briefs. Great. She plucked her bra off the floor and shoved it in her back pocket before turning to face him, finally.

He looked confused, and more than a little hurt.

Her cheeks burned with shame, but she forced herself to look him in the eye. Swallowing, she tried to soften her voice. “Last night was fun.”

“Right.” His mouth had compressed into a hard, thin line. It was the same expression he got when he was talking about his parents, and she hated herself for making him look that way. For making him feel that way.

“I’m sorry,” she said, even though she wasn’t sure exactly what she was apologizing for.

He looked away.

She stood uncertainly in the doorway, clutching her shoes as she hugged her arms across her chest. “I’m just— I’m gonna go.”

He nodded, still refusing to look at her.

Esther let herself out.

Chapter Twenty

When Esther got back to her apartment, she took a shower and stood under the hot water for forty-five minutes, trying to wash away the feeling of regret.

It didn’t work.

She still felt just as awful when she got out of the shower.

The look on Jonathan’s face when she’d left haunted her. She never should have let things go this far.

He wanted more from her than she could give. She could see it in his eyes. He was looking for a relationship. A girlfriend.

That wasn’t her. She wasn’t the girlfriend type. He knew that. And even if she was interested in being in a relationship—which she wasn’t—it could never happen with him.

Reason after reason filled her head. They were the opposite of compatible. They had nothing in common. She barely even liked him. He liked her too much.

On top of all that, he’d dated her best friend. You weren’t supposed to sleep with guys your best friend had dated. It was a dick move.

Esther had fucked up. She’d selfishly let herself get swept up in the moment.

Last night shouldn’t have happened. And it could definitely never happen again. It was obvious Jonathan was already too attached. Dragging this out would only end up hurting him more.

She fastened her wet hair into a bun and sank onto the couch. Sally jumped up beside her and started purring. She didn’t like it when Esther spent the night away.

“I did something bad,” she said, scratching Sally under her chin. “Your human is a real shithead.”

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