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“I guess.”
She pulled away from him and reached for his face. Her fingertips skimmed over the bristle on his jaw as she pulled his head down to hers. In the darkness, she could only make out the barest outlines of his features, but she didn’t need to see the lines around his eyes and mouth to know they were there. Their noses bumped, and then their foreheads. She slid her fingers into his hair, holding him there.
“You’re going to be an amazing doctor. You’re smart, compassionate, and cool under pressure. You’ve got this. You’re going to rock it.”
She felt his forehead scrunch against hers as he squeezed his eyes shut. “If I could stay…” He faltered, and her chest clenched. “If I could stay, would you want me to?”
Tears burned in her eyes. “You can’t stay. There’s no point in thinking about it.” It hurt too much already. Allowing herself to imagine there was any other possibility would only make it worse. “You have to go. It’s your future.”
He drew in a shaky breath, and she brushed her lips against his. His palm caressed her cheek, angling her head for a deeper kiss. His kisses were addictive. Penny had never done drugs in her life, but she imagined this must be what it felt like. This desperate, burning need for something. This agony at the prospect of giving it up.
“What if…” She hesitated, swallowing around the burning in the back of her throat.
Caleb’s nose nudged against her cheek. “What?”
“We could try the long-distance thing. We could make it work.”
He went still. “You really think so?”
“Sure we can.” She didn’t know how, but it was worth a try, at least. It was better than giving up. “That is…if you want to?”
A millennium passed in the moment before he answered. Civilizations rose and fell, and Penny died a thousand tiny deaths before he finally said, “Yeah. Okay.” It lacked the enthusiasm she’d been hoping for, but at least he hadn’t said no.
Even if he was just humoring her to spare her feelings, she counted it as a win. It was a sliver of hope to cling to. Because the one thing she was certain of was that she couldn’t let him go.
“So this weekend…” Penny said as she sipped her lavender latte on Thursday morning, exactly one week before Caleb was due to leave. “I was thinking maybe we could actually leave my apartment for a change. Maybe have a picnic at the beach or something.”
It was their last weekend together, and she wanted to do something special. They’d never actually been on anything resembling a date. She’d always assumed he couldn’t afford to eat out, and it was easier for her to eat healthy at home, so they’d just fallen into the habit of staying in.
There was also the fact that Caleb had never actually suggested they go out. She ascribed it to the nontraditional way their relationship had started out. In the beginning, it was only supposed to be a booty call. Which then turned into a series of booty calls. Which somehow morphed into them bypassing the usual courtship rituals and moving straight to de facto living together.
But now that they were in this for the long haul, she wanted to go back and have some of those experiences with him before he left. Before it was too late.
Caleb leaned his hip against the counter and frowned—not exactly the reaction she’d been hoping for. “I’d love that, except…”
“Except what?”
“I won’t be here this weekend.”
Penny’s stomach dropped into her shoes. “What? Why?”
“I have to go to see my parents.” His fingers gripped the edge of the countertop, turning his knuckles white.
“Oh.” She couldn’t exactly begrudge him that. He was about to move two thousand miles away. Of course his parents would want to see him before he left.
He could have mentioned it before now though. Here she was, planning for their last weekend together when they’d already had their last weekend together. If she’d known, she would have tried to make it special. She would have tried to memorize every second.
He started to reach across the counter and halted halfway, his hand clenching into a fist. “I’m sorry.”
She forced a smile. “Don’t be. You need to see your parents.”
“I really do.”
“I understand.”
His jaw clenched. “But you’re still mad.”
“I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed. I thought we’d have this last weekend together.”
