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I cradled my head in my hands and squeezed my eyes shut. The dream had been so real, so vivid. I shook my head and bit back a sob. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.
“No. Let them sleep.” I choked out. Trying my best not to burst into tears in front of Amon. I pressed my face into my knees and felt him sit on the edge of the bed next to me. He tentatively reached out to put his hand on my back. When I didn’t immediately jerk away from him, he allowed his palm to gently slide over me, rubbing my back in gentle soothing circles.
“Breathe.” He said softly. “In through your nose and out through your mouth.” I laughed bitterly.
“You sound like my anger management counselor.” My voice muffled as I was speaking into my knees.
He chuckled. “Maybe they were on to something.”
We sat in silence for a few moments while I continued to breathe until my heart rate finally slowed down. I was finally able to lift my head, and Amon stopped his careful circles. He slid further down the bed, giving me room to move.
“Thank you.” I sniffed, wiping a stray tear away from my eye. Now that I had calmed down, I realized with a start that he was shirtless, and wearing loose drawstring pants. They were the same color and fabric as my sheets. I almost buried my face back into my knees to hide my blush, but he didn’t seem to notice my discomfort.
“Don’t mention it.” His brow was creased again, the way it seemed to when he was going to ask me something personal. “Is that why you started drinking with Rycon every day? To block out the nightmares?”.
I shrugged, “I really haven't had a chance to have a nightmare. The first night Meredith gave me a calming draught, but she said I couldn't have it every day. Every time I close my eyes, I watch Clair die again. My waking life feels like a nightmare.” I admitted.
“I can barely handle the memories when I’m conscious. I didn’t want to find out what kind of horrible things my subconscious mind could come up with. So yeah. I guess I was using the alcohol to put off the inevitable.” Amon’s face turned hard, and I wondered what I had said wrong.
“I’m sorry,” he said, still looking angry. I frowned.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, but I am still sorry.” He reached out and brushed his thumb against my chin, right on the place he had touched me when we first met. He had placed some kind of touch based magickal tracker on me. The tracker that hadn’t worked because of the triquetra I had been wearing the night I had been abducted.
“Nightmares are a common symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder.” He told me, rubbing his thumb over that cold spot on my chin. “I have them too. We all do.” He took his hand back and a small part of me wished he hadn’t. “Kasha’s are so bad sometimes the volcano shakes.” So I was right, this place was built inside an inactive volcano.
“What do you do about it?” I asked my voice barely a whisper, and he shrugged.
“Try to be there for each other and listen if the other person feels like talking.” Oh. I looked back at the pillows behind me and winced. I had a big day tomorrow, and now I wasn’t sure I would be able to get back to sleep. He seemed to know where my mind had gone.
“I can stay if you want, until you fall asleep.”
I started to say no, then hesitated. He seemed so earnest, sitting there, trying to help me. I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts. The memory of the dream was still too vivid.
“Okay.” I was rewarded with a smile.
“Lie down and close your eyes. Daemon’s may not be great healers, but we are good with dreams. I’ll make sure you don’t dream again tonight.”
I did as he said and leaned back into my pillows, curling onto my side, and closing my eyes.
‘Sleep, Raven.’ He whispered into my mind, and this time when I drifted off, I did not dream.
15
When I woke up the next morning, Amon was gone and I wondered how long he had stayed with me before going back to his own room. The sun shone in through the opening in the wall and I stretched before swinging my feet over the side of the bed. I hadn’t dreamt again, and actually felt refreshed, though my body was stiff from the long hike the day before.
I padded over to the bathroom and pulled my armor down from the hook. Kasha hadn’t been lying, it was much easier to get into it the second time. As I stepped into the pool of restructium, it eagerly climbed up my legs and fastened itself across my back. I ran a brush through my long black hair on my way back into the bedroom to find Amon waiting for me. He was leaning against the frame of my door, which was, of course, always left open.
“Good morning Raven.” He smirked at me. He looked perfect as always, though he was not in his armor today. He was wearing a deep green collared dress shirt with no tie and black slacks. “How was the rest of your sleep?”
“It was good.” I admitted, putting the brush on the table and sitting in one of the chairs to slide into my boots. I looked up at him through my hair as I fastened the buckles. “Thank you. For last night, I mean.” I stood up and made my way over to him. I couldn’t place the expression on his face, but he was looking at me with a tentative sort of hope that I didn’t understand.
“Anytime.”
I nodded and moved to walk past him. He grabbed my arm lightly and spun me to face him. His eyes searched mine intently. “I mean that, Raven. Anytime. Just call.” My aura shimmered and arched against his, and I could feel the intensity of his offer hover in the air between us. Nodding again, more deliberately this time, I held his gaze to let him see that I understood.
“Ok.” I said, and his lips tilted up slightly.
