AllFreeNovel
Share Us
1
There was blood on my hands. Thankfully, very little of it was mine.
Mr. Abbey was sitting behind his large oak desk. He was cleaning his spectacles and observing me with tired eyes. The principal’s desk was cluttered with pictures of what I could only assume were photos of his family. Stereotypical ornaments that students must have bought for him over the years wove in and out of the frames. His apple-shaped pencil dispenser and his mug which read #1 Principal cheerfully mocked me from his desk. I tried my best not to scowl at the stupid knick-knacks.
My adoptive father, Jeremy, was sitting adjacent to Mr. Abbey and I. Jeremy’s cracked leather loafers seemed out of place in the pristine office and his soft worn trench coat fell in uneven folds over his lean, weather-burnt arms. The two men were staring at me with nearly identical expressions. Their tired eyes peeked at me through furrowed brows. Each of them projected affection and pity, haunted with an unmistakable aftertaste of defeat.
“What am I going to do with you, Raven?” Mr. Abbey asked, placing his tiny spectacles back on his nose. His chair squeaked as he leaned forward and crossed his tweed-clad arms across the desk. The question was a sincere one. His tone had no trace of sarcasm, yet I still struggled to find my voice. As much as that little weasel Neil had gotten what he deserved, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. I had, once again, pulled Jeremy away from work, and put Mr. Abbey in a position where he felt he needed to make excuses for me.
Behind him, the lights from the ambulance bounced red, blue, then red again against the egg-yolk walls of the office. I fiddled with the silver pendant on my necklace that I had worn for as long as I could remember. The rough carved ring of ravens held onto each other by their talons. My namesake, my adoptive mother, had told me.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. I deserved to be expelled, at least in the eyes of the school board.
Jeremy spoke next, “You hit him with a chair, Raven. The kid might need to have his cheekbone reconstructed.” I’d done a lot more than just that. Once he went down, I pinned him to the ground and went medieval on his ass. Somehow it didn’t feel like the time to point that out.
I said nothing. What could I say? They were right. Jeremy should never have adopted me. He deserved better. What tore me up the most was that no matter how broken and sad he looked sitting next to me, he would never admit to regretting the decision to take me into his home. On some level, Jeremy knew I couldn’t help it.
Mr. Abbey looked at Jeremy, before squeezing the bridge of his nose beneath his spectacles.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to suspend you for an indefinite period of time.” He said. The obvious avoidance of expulsion was noted. I watched Jeremy’s shoulders slump, though I wasn’t sure whether it was in relief or disappointment.
“Have you enrolled her in an anger management class? Mr. Abbey asked earnestly.
“Yes,” Jeremy replied. “She has a session this afternoon.”
Normally, I would have been enraged at the idea of being spoken about as if I weren’t there, but I bit my tongue. I was simply grateful I hadn't been expelled. Not yet, anyway.
Jeremy stood up to shake hands with Mr. Abbey. The modest principal made eye contact with me over my adoptive father’s shoulder.
“Well, maybe this time off will give her time to focus on controlling her...rage.”
I felt the familiar twinges of anger nipping at the edge of my vision. I met Mr. Abbey’s eyes with the same cool glare I had locked onto Neil Green only two short hours before. Abbey, however, did not drop his gaze.
“Alright, kiddo.” Jeremy said, hiking up his jeans and standing. “Let’s get out of here. I have to check out a crime scene.” He turned to Mr. Abbey and shook his hand. “Thank you, s ir, for everything.”
Mr. Abbey smiled solemnly at Jeremy and nodded.
“Good luck,” he said, as Jeremy ushered me out the door. “To both of you.” I was left with the unnerving feeling that he wasn’t just wishing me luck in anger management.
We spilled out into the parking lot and I glared at the other kids that had gathered in pools in front of the school. Some of them jeered and called me names. Others just stared at me half in awe and half in fear.
“Ignore them.” Jeremy said to me under his breath. I forced myself not to turn and retaliate.
Once we reached the car, Jeremy unlocked the door to his dusty rose Honda Civic by hand and reached across from the driver’s seat to unlock the passenger door for me. Wordlessly, he turned the key in the ignition, and the car rumbled to life, however, he didn't put the car in gearright away. Instead, he rested one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the stick shift, watching me with tired eyes.
I ran my fingers through my long black hair and stared stubbornly at my frayed skirt that all girls at St. Bernadette's were required to wear. The blue plaid was worn and stained like most of the things us Fisher's owned. Clair, my eternally optimistic adoptive mother, had always insisted that her belongings were not worn but 'loved.' Clair was forever grateful to be the owner of possessions with so much character.
"Raven," Jeremy spoke my name softly. In the confines of the car, the shouts and jeers of the kids outside were inaudible. I cringed and forced myself to look up at him despite the guilt and regret flooding my stomach. Jeremy reached out and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "You know I love you Raven, no matter what you do." A lump grew in my throat and I tried to swallow past it. I would not cry.
"Jeremy, I'm so sorry..." I started, but he didn't let me finish.
"I don't understand why this keeps happening." He admitted, pulling me into an awkward sideways hug and kissing me on top of my head. "But, we will figure it out together, okay? You just have to promise me you won't stop trying." I nodded into his arm, still biting back the tears that threatened to spill over at any moment.
My 'condition' which Clair had taken to calling it, had first reared its ugly head when I was in grade six. I had put another young girl in the hospital for calling me a witch. Jeremy and Clair had put me through counseling, therapy, even hypnosis. Nothing had worked. They had asked the adoption agency for more information about my background. They had assumed that I had been abused before they had taken me in. Perhaps abuse was the reason for the mindless rage that had begun to possess their daughter more and more frequently.
"He just made me so angry. I couldn't see anything."
"I know," Jeremy said softly, dropping one more kiss on my head before releasing me. "Let's get you to that anger management class. I'm sure they'll be able to help you wrangle those monsters in your head better than I can." He smiled at me before putting the car into reverse. I managed a weak smile back and settled into the car seat. I knew that the anger management class would be just as useless as the one I had attended the week before, but I had promised Jeremy I would keep trying. It was the least I could do.
