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I drop my hand. “I’m losing my goddamn mind out here, Nik.”
My brother doesn’t move. He hasn’t moved in days unless a nurse repositions him to redo his IV. But I keep expecting it, anyway.
“You’d be so pissed that you’re unconscious right now and can’t hear any of this, but it turns out you were good at your job. Gathering intel, plugging holes, and keeping tabs on things. It allowed me to handle other shit. But now…” I shake my head. “All I can think about is how to keep everyone safe.”
The worst part of it all is that no matter what I do, I can’t change a single thing about Nik’s situation. It’s too late. Whatever happens from this point on is up to him and his doctors. I just have to sit here… and wait.
Even then, what the hell am I waiting for? He might wake up and be a completely different person. He may never talk again. He could have lasting brain damage that will change everything.
I drag a hand down my jaw. “Apparently, Akim’s little brother is rising up to avenge his death. Inconvenient, even if I understand the impulse.” My eyes follow the tube out of Nik’s mouth, across the bandage on his chest. “I was never going to let Akim get away after what his men did to you. The difference is that Akim deserved what he got. If Pavel wasn’t so green, he’d probably see that and back off.” I snort and say what I’m positive Nik would say if he could. “Or not. The Gustev Bratva isn’t known for their discretion.”
The Gustevs have been a problem for years. I thought striking back and answering their attacks with our own would convince them to keep their heads down. But they don’t know when to quit.
Now, it isn’t just me at risk. It’s my siblings. It’s Luna. It’s the future of our family.
I run my hands through my hair. “I don’t know how Otets handled this, Nik. Being a pakhan and a husband and a father. He trained me to follow in his footsteps, but he was never scared. He never acted like he was worried about me. But I’m—fuck, I’m terrified for what all of this will mean for Luna and our kid.”
I stare at the floor between my feet and run through all of my security measures once, twice, a hundred fucking times. I try to convince myself that I’m doing everything I can to control this situation, but it doesn’t feel like enough.
I’m not sure it will ever be enough.
I’m still staring at the floor when the door behind me opens. “Oh, Mr. Kulikov,” a female voice says. “I didn’t realize you were still here.”
I look over my shoulder and Dr. Tung is in the doorway. She’s an older woman with white streaks in her dark hair. I haven’t seen much of her since Nik’s surgery, but the nurses keep telling me how busy she is. Apparently, she’s the best of the best. Either way, I trust her to take care of my brother. It’s just about the biggest compliment I can give.
I glance at the clock and somehow, hours have passed. “Time got away from me,” I say.
She gives me a tight smile. “That’s okay. It’s good to talk to him. The more, the better.”
“Can he even hear me?”
“We don’t know for sure, but studies show that talking to patients in a coma can only help. Especially when they know the voices. When it’s someone they love. That connection can help guide them back.”
It all sounds a little woo-woo to me. I turn to face her. “I’m going to ask a question and I need you to be honest with me. No bullshit.”
“I’m not into bullshitting,” she says sincerely.
“Is there a real chance he recovers?”
Dr. Tung looks at Nikandr. She tilts her head to one side and studies him. “Yes. There’s always a chance.”
“And there’s a chance that the ceiling caves in and I’m crushed under a hospital bed,” I snap. “But it isn’t likely. What are his chances? Really?”
She chews on the corner of her mouth and then seems to decide something. She looks at me. “I never discount anyone. Miracles happen all the time. But… you should limit your expectations. That’s what I can tell you. Miracles happen, but don’t expect one.”
As soon as I step out of the hospital, my phone buzzes. It’s Isay.
“What news do you have for me?”
Something good, for fuck’s sake.
“Nothing yet,” he says. “But I’m requesting permission to follow Pavel.”
I frown. “Why weren’t we already doing that?”
Because Nik is in the hospital. My brother would have been following Pavel from the moment he became a threat. He wouldn’t have asked for permission. Nik knew what I wanted from him without me needing to say it.
“There was no explicit order given,” Isay says. “But now that the threat is credible, I want to learn more about him.”
