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Before I’d only been able to daydream about what kissing him was like, but now I knew. He was passionate, taking what he wanted without apologizing for it, and I wanted everything.
He hadn’t offered that, though.
William was a playboy, always had been, and I knew I couldn’t have a fling with him even if he did offer it. I wanted commitment, a relationship, and the whole nine yards. I doubted that’s what he was thinking, but I had to be clear…
Forcing a deep breath through my lungs to hopefully clear the lust fogging my head, I said. “Whether or not you should have depends on what you’re hoping for. If you just want a meaningless fling, then no, I’m not your girl. If you’d be open to more, then that’s different.”
He snorted, shaking his head. “You’re my little sister’s best friend. Do you have any idea how many rules that breaks? Alice would geld me if I started anything with you, and you know I’m not the relationship sort. That’s not even getting into what your brother would do, and he’s my best friend.”
It hurt to hear it confirmed, but it needed to be done. I couldn’t let myself live in a fantasy, and it was better I hammered home the truth now. He was only interested in flings and no matter how nice that kiss was, I didn’t want something so temporary.
Nodding, I agreed. “I knew you weren’t, but I needed to make sure we were on the same page. I didn’t expect you to kiss me.”
My lips still tingled from it, and I tried not to think about why.
He winced, “That was a moment of weakness on my part. I’m sorry.”
I wish he wouldn’t apologize, but I guess it didn’t matter. In a way I could appreciate why he refused to do anything else with me. He knew just like I did that he wasn’t the commitment sort, and anything we did together would only hurt me later down the line.
Kissing him had been something else, but now I had to leave the fairy tale behind and move on.
Turning away, I climbed into my car and nodded. “Have a good night, William.” My tone was a tad too sharp, but given the emotions rolling in my veins, I’d give it an A for effort.
William grimaced, catching that, but to his credit he didn’t comment. Instead he stepped away and hummed. “Good night, Bea.”
I didn’t wait to hear anything else, so I pressed on the gas and headed home. Today had been a success in some ways and a miserable failure in others.
More than anything, I wish things could be different.
Chapter 3
Alice had steam all but pouring out of her ears as she stomped around my apartment. “The nerve of the guy, kissing you and then backing out. You should have gone back inside to get some punch and threw it on him.”
She’d been on an impressive rant since I’d come home with smudged lipstick and she popped over to see how the night went. At first she’d been impish, thinking I’d finally found someone to date, but when I’d reluctantly told her what happened–conveniently leaving out the name of the man who’d kissed me–she was livid.
I watched as she moved back to the kitchen, mixing bowl in hand as she continued. “He even started growling over you before, and then he has the balls to pull something like that? That’s just straight up cowardly. Who is this guy? I have the urge to kick his ass.”
“I really don’t want to relive it any more than I have to. I just want to forget it happened.” I said.
She huffed at my response, and it was obvious she was in an internal struggle if she should press me more.
Would she still say these things if she knew it was her brother she was insulting? Part of me thought yes, because Alice had never pulled punches, not even for those closest to her, but the other part…
She and William had always been close.
Would she have tried to rationalize his actions, or would she have stormed to his house to rip him a new one?
Maybe a combination of both, now that I thought about it. She was protective of both of us.
Leaning back on the couch, my heels next to me along with my purse, I sighed. “Alice, I really don’t care. Honestly, I’m glad he realized I wasn’t the fling sort. He could have lied to get in bed with me, and that would’ve been much worse.”
William wasn’t the sort, thankfully. He may like sleeping around but he’d always–to my knowledge–made sure that every woman he took to bed understood that it wasn’t serious. I didn’t care for his way of living, but he did his best to make sure no one got hurt, so I wouldn’t fault him for it either.
Alice sighed, looking away with a scowl. “Fine, you have a point, but I hate that your first time out feeling like hot stuff ended like that. I half hoped you would have come home telling me you had a date.”
Flashing back to George and the interest I’d seen there, I cut in with a smile. “Technically, someone else did show interest in me. One of the ranch hands at Dennis’s place asked me to dance.”
Alice perked up, eyes sparkling again. “Oh, one did? Was he cute?”
