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He says nothing and his closed off expression is telling me nothing at all.
“You may believe I’m doing this for a crazy kick. The spoiled rich kid who thinks it will be fun. You’re wrong. I’m doing it for me. To do something I would never imagine in a million years. Do you know what that feels like?”
He raises his eyes and I laugh. “Of course you do, so why deny it to me?”
I shake my head. “I don’t live, Dimitri, I exist. My heart doesn’t race through danger, not normally. The first time it did, I met your son, Apollo.”
I laugh softly. “He freaking scared me half to death, but when I got over the shock, something stirred deep inside me. Some say it’s adrenalin. I call it destiny.”
I fix him with a hard stare. “I felt alive for the first time in my life. I was doing something wrong on every level and was definitely out of my comfort zone. Maybe I’m foolish, you probably think so, but ever since I met your sons, I finally understand what living means.”
He says one word. “Sons?”
He raises his eyes and I shrug. “It’s not the best situation to be in. I started off with one and well, moved on to the other, but from what I understand, that’s not uncommon in your family.”
This time I raise my eyes and he laughs out loud. “Touché, Melissa.”
He leans forward. “Speaking of my sons, what are you thinking?”
“That I would do it all again.”
It makes me smile. “Apollo introduced me to a world I never believed existed outside of the imagination of the screenwriters. I’m under no illusions it’s a hard life, with great monetary rewards for some to sweeten the pill.”
I smile as I stare into his enigmatic eyes.
“I understood early on that Apollo wasn’t interested. A woman has an intuition, you know. If you think I transferred my attention to his brother as some kind of payback, you’d be very wrong. Adonis, well–” I break off because what do I say about him? Do I really tell his father that he has stormed into my life and left with my heart? That he made me no promises, and I went there knowing it. That I have cried myself to sleep since he left because he doesn’t want me and yet despite it all, I would do it again in a heartbeat.
My mind is fucked where it concerns him and when he came into my life, nobody else existed. No, I can’t tell his father that I have fallen in love with his son because love only gets you in trouble in their world. So, I shrug as if I couldn’t give a fuck.
“Well, it is what it is as they say. It was fun while it lasted, but he made it very clear he’s not interested.”
I turn away and bite my lip because I will not cry in front of this man. He doesn’t need to see the heartbreak my words have caused me, and I will never reveal my true feelings concerning his son. I can’t even reconcile them with myself and so the best thing I can do is to get on with what I promised and then head home and shut myself away in my ivory tower to remember when what I did counted for something.
If I make it back, that is.
CHAPTER 50
ADONIS
Mikhail Romanov is a man after my own heart. He doesn’t waste words, and offers no insight into how his mind works.
He is a great friend of Lucian Romano; they believe they are brothers because they almost share the same surname. I can see why they’re friends. Lucian is a cold-hearted bastard, and that didn’t change when he met the fiery lawyer, his wife Riley.
I have met her on several occasions and love how they bounce off one another. The only humanity I ever see in Lucian’s eyes is when she is around.
The four of us are waiting in Mikhail’s penthouse that overlooks Miami beach, and I stare at Mikhail with curiosity. He is a Russian warrior. The same build as me and my brother, tatted to hell, and his cold gray eyes have no life in them at all. His gray silk shirt is open to the waist, revealing a man who works out to the same regime as me. I understand him but know nothing about how his mind works because, from what I’ve heard, he is one step away from insanity.
Lucian says in his husky drawl, “Hosea is due to fly in later today. He travels with his usual guards and the rest are already on the island. They guard it on rotation, and they are loyal to the Madeira family.”
Mikhail says in his strong accent, “The guards?”
Lucian grins, and it makes me smile inside. He is a conniving bastard and has obviously enjoyed devising this plan.
“The guards are loyal to Marcos, his brother. It’s been a secret for a while now that Hosea is losing his mind. He is increasingly unstable, and his brother Marcos runs the business now. Hosea indulges his perversions and Marcos is happy to let him, under the watchful eye of his loyal guards.”
“And?” Mikhail adds and Lucian grins.
“I have it on good authority that if, shall we say, an accident happened, Marcos would be privately grateful.”
