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No. Not my mother. She lost the right to be called that when I was eight years old. When she signed away my body for testing. My beta guides me out of the hidey-hole door and over to the elevator, hovering close by in case I need him, but letting me move on my own. Like he really thinks I’m as strong and indestructible as titanium.
I nuzzle into him when we’re in the elevator, taking big gulps of his soothing spring rain scent. His arms band around me, holding me tight. But he doesn’t offer words of comfort. I’m not sure anything he says would help.
When we reach the penthouse, he draws back, ignoring the opening doors to gaze at me. “What do you need, heartbreaker? What can I do for you?”
The omega in me whines that she wants a nest and blankets and pillows and clothing that smells like her pack and lots and lots of cuddles. She doesn’t want to be alone with her thoughts. She wants to soak up the nearness of her pack and forget any of this happened.
But they aren’t your pack.
That reminder has me dropping my arms from Ethan, stepping back and away from him. He follows, his brow furrowed, concern clear in his features. “Heartbreaker-”
I shake my head and give him a wobbly smile. “Ethan, I’m fine. I’m just going to go and… clean up. I feel gross after watching that.”
His gaze narrows, but he doesn’t stop me from fleeing down the hall into the bathroom, where I can put a locked door between us.
I spend at least an hour in the shower, and somehow the water never runs cold. It feels like magic. I wash my hair and body three times. But never really feel clean. I’m pruny and bright red by the time I step out from under the spray. I take my time drying myself off, using a blow dryer on my hair, lotioning up my skin, hoping like hell something will help me come to grips with what happened to me.
News flash: it doesn’t.
When I step out of the bathroom, Luca’s waiting for me in the hall, his beautiful face worried as he sweeps his gray eyes over me. “You okay, vixen?”
It’s tempting to lie, but I’m pretty sure he can feel how not okay I am through our bond, so I shake my head. “Not even close.”
“Oh, baby,” he whispers, tugging me into his chest. I let him, breathing his spiced pear scent into my lungs, letting his rumbling purr vibrate through me. One of his hands slips under my wet hair to cup the back of my neck. “I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head, making my face rub against his soft t-shirt. “Not your fault. I knew-I knew it was going to be bad. I knew she did something awful… because what kid of a mother takes their daughter to a doctor that doesn’t exist and doesn’t know there’s something really wrong? You know?”
His fingers dig into my neck, carefully working out the tension there. “I know.”
“Its just hard that I guess she never really saw me as anything more than… a cash cow. A way to keep them giving her money.” A humorless laugh falls from my lips. “Fuck. I never even questioned why she didn’t work. Why she never had a job. I just assumed it was an inheritance from my grandparents. I never asked questions. God, I feel so stupid.”
“Hey,” Luca’s voice is gentle, but firm. “You are not stupid, Sadie. You were lied to and manipulated over fucking years by the person who was supposed to do everything in her power to take care of you. None of this is your fault.”
Logically, I know he’s right. But I’m also a fully grown woman and I should have had more questions. I should have pressed them to tell me what the hell was wrong with me. I should have followed my instincts. But I didn’t.
Now I’m in this mess, a fake omega bonded to an alpha that was never supposed to be mine.
“Maybe this isn’t the right time,” Luca says, looking sheepish. “I mean with your mother and all.” My eyes flutter closed as I wince at the memory of terrorizing my mom. I never thought I would be capable of something like that, and yet, I stood by and let Swift hurt her, all just so I could find out she all but sold me to be tested on as a child.
That reminder has me hardening my heart against her.
“It’s fine, Luca. What’s up?”
He reaches out and takes my hand in his, tugging me down the hall and into the living room, where I’m greeted by the sight of countless boxes.
Too many to count.
I arch a brow when I realize that most of them are from clothing stores, but there’s a few from Heats, Nests and Beyond, and one giant one from IndulgScents. I don’t know why the sight of it makes my heart clench up and my feet stall out.
Ethan and Logan are standing next to the deliveries. They look nervous and excited, anxious about my reaction. It makes my stomach flip with butterflies.
But suddenly I’m finding it hard to breathe. “You bought me gifts?” I whisper, feeling like this is important. Really freaking important.
Luca tugs me closer to him, presses his lips against my temple. “You deserve them, vixen.”
His words are simple. Hardly anything at all, and yet, tears well in my eyes as the Falcone pack watches in horror.
Chapter 20: In which I realize I’m already halfway in love
