AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Going to get pounded into the mattress by your hot doctor?” He made a gesture that was far too lewd for someone as sweet-looking as him.
No, far from it. But—no. Fuck it.
“Something like that, yeah.”
Pulling out my phone, I booked an Uber.
Two o’clock in the morning wasn’t the ideal time to be pressing the buzzer for Killian’s flat, but I didn’t care. I held my finger down until his angry growl sounded through the speaker, and it was the sweetest sound in the world.
“If you don’t fucking stop that right this second, I’m calling the police.”
“Kill. It’s me.”
The door to the building clicked, and I pushed it open.
When I reached his flat and saw him standing in the doorway, my numbness instantly melted away, all the pain I’d been keeping locked inside me crashing over me all at once. I couldn’t breathe.
My eyes filled with hot tears, and I ran to him, wrapping my arms around him tightly and burying my head in his shoulder.
“Baby,” he whispered brokenly, shuffling backwards to bring me inside. The door closed behind us, and he tugged me over to the sofa, collapsing down onto it. I curled into him, breathing him in, feeling his heart beating beneath mine, his body reassuringly warm and solid where we were pressed together.
Lifting my head, I met his gaze, and the usual icy blue was replaced with the stormy depths of an ocean of feelings I could drown in. His eyes were rimmed in red, and I wondered if he’d had just as much of a horrible time over the last few days as I had.
“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have come. I just…I just wanted to see you. I miss you so much, Kill.”
“I’m so glad you came.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. Bringing his hand up to cup my jaw, he tenderly stroked his thumb over my skin. “This is so fucking hard. I know we agreed it was the right thing to do, but to tell you the truth, I didn’t want this to end. Not yet. I don’t want this to end yet.”
Was he saying what I thought he was saying? “I don’t want this to end yet, either.” My gaze searching his, I whispered, “S-so can we keep going? Just a little bit longer?”
His eyes closed, and he nodded once. This time, my tears were tears of relief, of love, as the man I’d fallen for held me like I was something precious. Like I was his and he was mine.
I knew it would mean even worse heartbreak when we came to our inevitable end, but for now, I’d do my best to live in the moment and enjoy the time we had left together.
“My sunshine,” he murmured, kissing my head. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
I pressed my face into the crook of his neck. “We’re both in this together, Killian. We always knew this was temporary.”
His arms tightened around me. “I know. But I’m so sorry, baby. It kills me to see you hurting and to know you’re going to be hurt all over again when this ends.”
“It kills me to see you hurting, too.” I pressed a kiss to his stubbled jaw, tasting my own tears. Or were they his? “I hate it. You deserve so much, Kill. You deserve to be so, so happy. I want you to be happy.”
“Joshua.” His voice cracked, and all we could do was hold on to each other. It was hopeless, and we were doomed, but we were in this together.
“Come on. Let’s go to bed,” he murmured after a long while, when my tears had dried and I was drifting, my eyes closed as I lay against his chest, caught up in the quiet intimacy between us. “I want to hold you all night.”
“Okay.”
He did as he’d promised. He held me all night.
And when the morning came, he was still holding me.
28
The sun was shining brightly, and the air was fresh and crisp in the way that only a spring morning can be. Sipping my caramel Frappuccino, I glanced over at Killian as we exited King’s Cross station.
Butterflies took flight in my stomach as his lips kicked up at the corners, his hand reaching out so his fingers could slide between mine. He looked so gorgeous, so relaxed today in faded jeans, a fine-knit jumper in a soft, dark grey, and a pair of Nikes. There were tiny gold highlights glinting in his dark hair and stubble, catching the sun’s rays.
So fucking handsome.
