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This man.
“I love waking up with you,” was all I managed to say before he captured my mouth, and I was lost in him again.
Everything was perfect until breakfast. As I was finishing up my omelette, my phone buzzed, and when I opened it, I saw an email from the head of my dance degree course. Opening it up, I saw that we’d been given a schedule of events for our dance showcase, with the times for each of our dances. There was also a ticket link we could share with any interested parties, as the showcase was open to a wider audience.
“Second-year dancers… That’s not too bad. My group dance is forty minutes into it. Then my individual one’s close to the end.”
In the middle of lifting a piece of toast to his lips, Killian stared at me, confused.
I rushed to explain. “Sorry, the dance showcase. I just got an email with all the timings so I know when I’m onstage.”
“What date is it?”
When I told him, his entire face fell, and he placed his head in his hands with a groan. “Of fucking course it would be.”
“Killian?”
Raising his head, he met my gaze, a resigned expression on his face. “It’s the same night as my faculty dinner.”
“Oh, my. You are in a bit of a pickle.”
That was an understatement.
Killian had been his usual charming self with G, presenting her with the book from our date. He’d wanted me to give it to her, but I’d insisted he did, and the smile followed by the profuse thanks she’d given him was worth everything. We’d all had tea and crumpets together, and then Killian had left us, excusing himself politely so I could spend time on my own with my grandma. I hadn’t wanted him to leave, but he’d been insistent, and I knew what was on his mind.
The email.
Which brought me back to my current conversation with G.
“We agreed that there would be an expiry date. It could never work out between us, not in the long run. Not with all the obstacles in our way. I guess…now we know what the expiry date is.”
G sat in her armchair for a moment, wringing her hands before she stood, slightly unsteady. When I went to stand, too, she waved me away, as I knew she would. Picking up her newspaper from the table, she made her way over to where I was seated on the other armchair in her room.
Rolling up the newspaper, she drew back her arm and slapped me on the bicep with it. Hard. Who knew an eighty-two-year-old woman had so much strength?
“Ow!” Rubbing my arm, I attempted to make sense of what had just happened. “What was that for?”
“That was for you acting like a fool.” When I stood, unwilling to let her remain standing for too long, she lowered herself gracefully into my vacated chair, holding eye contact. “It’s clear to me that you love each other, Josh.”
“Love?” I whispered.
“Yes, love. He’s your one great love, isn’t he?”
Fuck. Licking my lips, I forced the words out. Words that I knew were true, no matter how much I’d tried to deny them to myself. “He might be.”
“There’s no might about it. The very first time you mentioned him to me, I knew he was going to be special to you. I know these things. I’ve always had a sixth sense for them. Then, when I met him for the first time, it was clear that you were infatuated with one another. And when he came here again, and you danced together…well. Niccolò and I both agreed that you were deeply in love.”
Nic had spoken to G about this? Of course he had, the interfering little fucker.
“That may be so, but we have to think of his career, G. I won’t do anything to jeopardise that. Never. No matter what.”
“My sweet boy,” she murmured, a gentle smile on her face. “Your grandad would be so proud of you. I’m so proud of you. You’re a wonderful man, Josh. Caring, kind, intelligent, talented…everything I could have ever hoped you’d be. My only wish for you is for you to be happy. That’s always been my wish for you. I know you can be happy without your doctor, but you’re much happier with him, aren’t you?”
Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I nodded. “I…I love him, G. And I don’t know what to do.”
“My darling.” She held out her hands, beckoning me towards her. “It will all be well. I promise you.”
I hugged her close. “We agreed we’d end things. We even tried to end things once. But I…I don’t know how to let him go.” Tears filled my eyes yet again, and I angrily blinked them away. “I know I have to let him go. We agreed, and it’s going to happen. This faculty dinner is a big deal for him, and if anyone found out we’d been seeing each other…it would ruin everything for him. At least if we have a clean break before that, he won’t have to lie to anyone. He can get his promotion with a clean conscience, completely on his own merits, when everyone realises just how fucking amazing he is.”
