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“Language, Josh.” She tutted under her breath, shaking her head. “Listen to me, and remember my age. I’ve experienced many things in my lifetime, and I have a number of years of wisdom. Promise me you’ll wait until the dinner and the showcase have finished before you make any drastic decisions about your relationship.”
I sighed. “It’s not just up to me. Killian has a say, too.”
“Convince him, then. I know how persuasive you can be. Promise me.”
“I-I guess I can ask him to wait until they’re over. But even if he agrees, it won’t make a difference. We’ll still have to end things when he gets the promotion.”
She gave me a small, enigmatic smile. “Maybe, maybe not. There’s no harm in waiting, though, is there? The last thing you need is to upset yourself before such a momentous occasion.” Rubbing her hands together, she directed her gaze towards the table. “Now, shall we play a game of cards while I tell you what Barbara said to poor George?”
30
Smoothing down the lapels of my midnight-blue suit, I eyed myself in the mirror with a grimace. My reflection grimaced back at me, and I forced myself to take a step back and let a neutral expression settle over my face.
Midnight-blue suit. Black shirt with the top button undone. Plain pewter cufflinks. Polished black loafers. Hair perfunctorily styled. A neatly trimmed beard—because my stubble had grown in the past week, and I hadn’t had any incentive to cut it. It was short, but it was arguably more beard than stubble at this point.
I looked the part, I supposed, but I didn’t feel the part.
I was hollow.
This was potentially the most important evening of my career, and yet I couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm. My head and my heart were both far away, stolen by a beautiful dancer who’d become my entire world.
Spinning away from my reflection, I headed out of the door and into the Uber that would lead me to my fate.
“Killian Wilder,” I told the person manning the entry to the event. They scanned the iPad in their hand before nodding and directing me inside.
Before I could reach the bar for a much-needed drink, I was stopped by John’s hand on my arm. “Ah, Killian! Just the man I was looking for. I can’t say anything officially, of course, not yet, but I hear congratulations are in order.” With a wink, he nudged my elbow. I forced a polite smile, but the feeling of wrongness inside me was increasing by the minute, and for a minute, I couldn’t trust myself to speak. Thankfully, John didn’t seem to notice anything amiss nor expect a reply, instead, glancing around us at the faculty members and their plus-ones milling around the function room as he continued. “I must say, I’ll miss these events when I retire.”
I finally found my voice. “Excuse me for a moment,” I gritted out, escaping in the direction of the bar. My phone buzzed softly in my suit jacket pocket, and I pulled it out.
It was a message from JJ.
JJ:
Good luck tonight. I’m so proud of you. You’re making your dreams come true
Everything coalesced all at once, and when I say it hit me like a fucking lightning bolt to the chest, I wasn’t exaggerating. I staggered backwards, clasping my phone to my chest.
This wasn’t my dream. Not anymore.
I had a new dream now.
And it was about fucking time I made it come true.
Scanning the room, I found the person I was looking for and headed straight for him. My heart was pounding, but my hands were steady, and I knew with utter certainty that I was doing the right thing.
Nodding politely to the vice chancellor’s wife, I cleared my throat and then turned to the vice chancellor himself. “Thomas, could I have a quick word? In private?”
Surprise entered his gaze, but he inclined his head, and we made our way to the side of the room where we could speak without being overheard.
It was time. “Thank you for the opportunity, but I wanted to let you know personally that I’m withdrawing my application for the head of the business school due to a conflict of interests.”
His mouth thinned. “And the conflict of interests would be…?”
Holding his gaze, I dropped the bombshell that could spell the end of my career. “That would be the fact I’m deeply in love with a student. Not one of my students, but still a student of the university.”
“Ah. I see.”
“Yes. Which brings me to my next point. Tonight is an incredibly important night for him, and I—well, I want to be there to support him. I apologise for my unprofessional behaviour, and I realise what the consequences of our relationship could mean for my career, but…I have to leave. Now.”
