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This is in addition to the fact that even if I were brave enough to try to move us out of the friend zone, I have never been certain Lilly would even give me a chance. I’ve seen the guys she’s dated in the past. They are all the opposite of me. Sporty, adventurous types. The kinds of guys who would whisk her away for a romantic weekend at the drop of a hat. Whereas I would need at least a month of planning to allow that to happen. Why would spontaneous, fun-loving Lilly ever say yes to a date with someone as ordinary as me?
I hear a knock and look up to see Amy poking her head around the door. “Hey, Ol. You still up?”
I put my phone face down on the bed to hide what I was looking at and beckon Amy in. “What’s up?”
Amy walks over and flops down on the bed next to me. “I just wanted to thank you for all the help you have given Lilly with her business. You have gone above and beyond for her this past week, what with the logo and everything.”
With Amy giving me a smug smile, I shift, uncomfortable with where this conversation may be heading.
“That’s what friends are for.”
Amy continues to give me a smug look and goes to say something else, no doubt in reference to my feelings being more than friendly. Amy has always suspected that my feelings for Lilly run deeper than just friendly but has never come right out and challenged me about them. Given that I want to keep it that way, I cut her off before she can get started, not in the mood to be poked and prodded tonight.
“So are you going to call the lemonade guy?”
Amy groans and buries her head in one of my pillows. “I don’t think so.”
“Why? Even as a guy, I can say that dude was good looking,” I tell her, chuckling at the look on her face.
“Hmmm,” Amy replies, not maintaining eye contact with me. “Not interested.”
“Could it be you are interested in someone else? Someone closer to home, or work?” I ask, turning the tables on her. It is clear as day that Amy has a mega-sized crush on her colleague and is just too stubborn to admit it.
Amy narrows her eyes at me, and I tense, knowing I have woken the beast. “Nice comment on Lilly’s Instagram page.” Bullseye.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I tell her as innocently as possible while I groan internally. I knew that comment was going to cause trouble!
“Uh-huh, that’s the story you’re going with? OK, what about Dale? He’s cute, and he seems interested in Lilly. Should we try to play matchmaker?”
I know I would rather set my hair on fire than set Lilly up on a date, so having had enough of this conversation, I make a noncommittal sound and get up to open my door, gesturing Amy towards it.
“As much as I have enjoyed this little chat, it is time for me to get some sleep. Long day and all. Work tomorrow…”
Amy shakes her head at me and, dragging her feet, makes her way towards my door.
“You know, you can’t wait forever,” she says as her parting shot.
I continue to feign ignorance. “Goodnight, Ames.”
With a sigh, she leaves me with my thoughts. My stupid, confused, all-over-the-place thoughts. I hate feeling this way! I know I can’t wait forever if I want to make a move on Lilly, but I only just sort of broke up with Emma (though apparently the jury is still out on that decision, and I am awaiting an email with further instructions regarding our relationship status), and even if I were to become single, there are so many things to consider with Lilly.
The first one being, what if I am not enough for her? Lilly is so special. She deserves someone who matches her outgoing, friendly nature, and while I can acknowledge I am a good guy most of the time, am I the right guy for someone as effervescent as her?
And second, what if we try and we don’t work out? What would become of our friendship? I can’t imagine a life without Lilly in it. Am I willing to take a chance and risk losing her altogether? These are all the things that have held me back from pursuing something with Lilly over the years.
And then to add to my emotional turmoil is the level of jealousy I felt today when Dale showed up at the Market Place. Dale and I have grown to be good friends since we both joined the company at the same time a few years ago. Several months ago, I made the mistake of telling him about my feelings for Lilly, after too many beers had loosened my tongue at an after-work drinks session. And since then, he has been on my case to do something about it. This intensified when I told him Emma and I are “on a break” Ross-and-Rachel style, and he has been pushing me to finally “grow a pair” and make a move on Lilly ever since. I guess today’s little display was his attempt at nudging me in the right direction. And it worked. When I saw him flirt with Lilly and had to witness her response, it was a jolt to my system. And how is it even possible that someone as special as Lilly is still single? And how long until that changes? Pretty soon, the man flirting with Lilly won’t be a good friend of mine but someone who has actual intentions of claiming Lilly as their own. My stomach churns at the thought of losing Lilly, although I know she deserves to be with someone who knows how special she is, someone who will treat her right. Is that someone me?
I pick up my phone again and look at the photo in my hand, lying back in bed with a groan. I think to myself, Seriously, what am I going to do about you, Lilly?
CHAPTER 13
Lilly
The working week drags, and after the fun of the Love, Lilly market stall on Sunday, it feels painful to be stuck in an office all day making photocopies and getting coffee for buffoon bosses who can’t stop leering at me with their X-ray eyes. I keep my mind occupied with expanding my Love, Lilly social media presence and have added a TikTok account to the mix. Though I don’t fully understand TikTok, it is imperative that I figure it out, as it seems to be the place all the cool kids hang out.
After the first the Market Place tagged Instagram post, I found out that a semi-famous Instagram influencer with half a million followers visited my stall on Sunday. And she loved the brownies and raved about them in a post, tagging my account in the process. Since then, Love, Lilly has blown up. Literally. By Monday night, I had ten thousand followers, and now I feel the pressure to deliver some good content to make sure I don’t lose them. To continue to capture the attention of my new audience, I decided to try a quick live baking tutorial video, as Oliver suggested, and that was liked by almost five thousand people, urging me to do them more regularly. I can work with this. It would seem that I enjoy being on camera when it involves doing something I love.
I’ve also been dedicating my lunch breaks to researching pop-up café options in the local area and am excited to have found that if I budget and save a good portion of my salary, I should have enough money to reserve a pop-up spot every month, opening in just a couple of months from now. And then there are the thoughts of my upcoming Friday night date to deal with. Since waking up with a Long Island Iced Tea hangover on Monday morning—must remember not to drink on a school night—and the memory of making a date, I have swung back and forth between excitement and dread. I know I need to get out there and meet people if I have any chance of moving on from my Oliver crush, but at the same time, an almost blind date with a stranger from the Internet is not appealing.
