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“Natalie,” he says in a soft voice, a frown marring his forehead. “Please let me explain.”
I shoot Bianca a ‘told you so’ look and she links her arm through mine in solidarity.
“You’ve done enough,” my little protector tells him. “I think Natalie just wants to be left alone.”
He looks at me, his eyes pleading. “Is that what you want, Natalie? For me to leave you alone?”
NO! Everything inside me is screaming for me to listen, to hear him out, to trust him. But then, out of the corner of my eye, I see it. Dave and Laura and Kate and their minions, all pointing and laughing at me.
“There’s nothing you can say to make this better.” My voice cracks and I clear my throat. And then clear it again. I can do this. “You’re not the man I thought you were, Matthew. In fact, I’m pretty sure I never really knew you at all.”
His face pales and he takes a step back. “I’m sorry you feel that way.” He swallows, his jaw clenching so hard I worry his teeth will shatter. “I know what I did was wrong, but I don’t regret a second of knowing you.”
My heart thumps at this declaration and I falter, wanting to turn back time so badly, I can taste it.
“Goodbye, New Girl.” He turns and jogs away from me and my heart splinters in two as I watch him leave.
And it’s only when he’s disappeared around the corner and away from the school building that I feel like I can breathe again, safe in with the knowledge that I’ll never have to see him or his dreamy eyes, ever again.
CHAPTER 4
Natalie
Present day, six years later
“Code Blue, emergency department, bed 4. Code Blue!”
I freeze. The exact opposite response to what is needed when those terrifying words are spoken over the loudspeaker.
“Move!”
I jump out of the way of a team of focussed doctors and nurses flying past me; the trauma team springing to action. A team I should be a part of.
“Come on, Nat. We’ve got to go!” My friend and fellow student nurse, Amy, grabs my upper arm in a death grip and pulls me along to where the trauma team is executing a well-choreographed dance to save the coding patient’s life.
“What do we do?” I hiss at Amy, who is glued to my side as we dodge the people moving around us at pace.
“Try not to get in the way?” she replies, her eyes wide as saucers as we both take in what’s unfolding in front of us. From what I can deduce, this patient had been brought in with chest pains, which have escalated to a myocardial infarction, and is currently being shocked back to life with a defibrillator.
“Do you think he’s going to make it?” I ask out of the side of my mouth, as the heart rate monitor remains a flatline after two rounds of shocking and epinephrine.
Amy shrugs. “It doesn’t look good.”
We fall into silence, too caught up in the action to even take notes. And that’s the entire point of us being here. We’re student nurses, here to watch and, on the odd occasion, do the work of a nurse.
“He’s back,” the head trauma doctor exclaims as the patient’s heart beats back into rhythm. I feel like cheering, but the frowns on everyone around us have me refraining. This man is alive, but apparently only just. “Let’s get him up to the CATH lab and figure out why this happened.”
“CATH lab?” I mouth to Amy who looks as confused as me. I jot it in my notepad to look up later and focus back on what’s in front of me.
“We’re done here,” the head doctor says. He strides out of the room behind the patient’s bed, destined for the mysterious CATH lab, throwing his gloves in the bin while rapidly relaying instructions to the nurses and interns around him. He has an air of authority that makes you both trust and fear him, and I know if I were to end up on that table, he’s the guy I’d want to be there to fix me.
“You two!” Amy and I snap to attention as our boss, Stacey, shoots us a look. “Review the patient’s chart and see if any of his medications need to be flagged before surgery.”
We nod in unison and Amy picks up the chart from the wall where the patient’s bed had been. When the chief nursing officer gives an order, you obey. It’s much like the army down here, everyone within the hierarchy with a role to play.
I scan the long list of medications this patient is currently taking, not at all surprised that he ended up having a heart attack. He is a walking red flag for cardiovascular disease.
“Anything jump out at you?” Amy asks, her brow furrowed in concentration.
