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I smile at his description. It’s a favourite memory of our time together.
“Natalie, we spent hours talking about anything and everything. I told you about my nanna and confided in you about things I didn’t tell anyone. And you thought it was part of some sinister grand plan?”
The hurt in his voice leaves me breathless. I’d always thought that our friendship meant more to me than it did to him. That he was friendly like that with everyone.
I try to explain this to him but the words are starting to sound hollow. “You were so effortlessly charming. How was I to know you weren’t like that with everyone?”
He stares out of the window, his brow wrinkled with concentration. I want to reach over and smooth out those lines, upset that I put them there in the first place.
“Our friendship was unlike any I’d ever had.” He clears his throat. “Any I’ve ever had.”
Hearing the distinction he’s making, I sit back in my seat, my brain synapses misfiring in all directions.
Matthew takes pity on me, sitting back himself and beaming a now sunny smile at me. A smile I don’t deserve. “Now that we have that cleared up,” he starts. What have we cleared up? Nothing! I’m more confused than ever. “What do you say about us being friends again?”
He emphasises the word ‘friends’ and I latch onto it. He’s giving me a pass, and I will not turn him away now.
“Friends?” I trace the features of his beautiful face with my eyes, wondering if there’s ever been a straight woman who could be just friends with this man. “I mean…sure?”
He beams at me. “Great.”
I lick my dry lips. “Great.”
We sit and stare at each other in silence, which is broken by the wail of an approaching ambulance siren. I jump up, knocking my empty glass over, then throw a napkin at it before sprinting to the door.
“I’ve gotta get back to work!”
“OK. I’ll see you soon?” Matthew calls out just as I’m at the door, about to make my escape. I wave in his direction and dismiss him completely. Now that he’s done his job, clearing the air and his conscience, there’s no way I’ll be seeing him again.
Friend or no friend.
*****
“I told you it wasn’t a dare!” Bianca’s know-it-all face stares at me triumphantly from my screen. I’ve Facetimed her to fill her in on all the gossip. “Didn’t I tell you?”
“Yes, yes, you were right. I was wrong. Whatever, it doesn’t matter now.”
Her pretty mouth drops open. “Of course it matters. Apparently, you matter enough that he came back to see you to make things right. And he wants to be your friend, that isn’t nothing.”
I nod, to placate her, but secretly I don’t know if I agree. Surely Matthew was just being a good guy by coming to see me. And that nothing more will come of it.
You were everything.
These three small words ring in my mind, taunting me like they have since Matthew dropped them like a bomb in our conversation and then continued on like they meant nothing. Maybe they did? My head hurts with all these competing thoughts.
“He’s a celebrity, B. He dates literal models. His face is on billboards.” I pause, hoping she’ll pick up what I’m putting down.
She does not. “So?”
“So, if he was way out of my league in high school, then he’s out of my universe now.”
Bianca scoffs and I put my phone on the pillow on my bed next to me, rolling over to face her and rest my head at the same time. It’s Friday night, signalling the end of my first week as a nurse—albeit a nurse in training—and I’m pooped. Add in the emotional turmoil of my past crush blowing back into my life, and I’m done.
“You should have got his number,” she chastises me, her face stern. “I thought I taught you better than this.”
This genuinely baffles me. “What would I do with his number?”
“Call him!”
