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Once again, I’d been rejected, all under the guise of a test.
A test I’m failing…
I groaned as my body tried to purge itself of all the terrible things I’d done and all the things I would do.
The only thing I’d ever wanted was to belong.
And the only one to accept me was her.
A stunning girl with a fascination for gemstones and eyes like sunshine. She’d been the first and only to look directly into my soul and not send me away.
She’d touched me. Willingly.
She’d listened to me. Bravely.
And we’d made a bargain that didn’t just thread our futures together but our very fucking existence.
How fucking tragic.
How pathetic that I’d had to wait twenty-nine years to know what it felt like to be accepted, all while knowing I’d end up destroying her.
It hurt.
Goddamn, it fucking hurt.
With her, I wasn’t lonely. With her, I wasn’t unwanted. With her, I burned and ached and came apart at the motherfucking seams.
She looked at me as if I was worth something.
She didn’t cry as I fucked her like a slave.
She didn’t scream as I claimed her against her will.
I’d done what needed to be done.
And Christ…I’d enjoyed it.
Ah, shit.
I landed on all fours as my back rounded.
I retched again and again.
I’d fucked her.
I’d almost gone into cardiac arrest fucking her.
I suffered pains in places I didn’t even know existed and housed a heart that threatened to betray me if I didn’t fuck her again soon.
Her fragility and fear kept me grounded. Her trust and hope kept me fighting.
But…I couldn’t deny that something had snapped the moment I’d plunged inside her. I’d felt her flinch. Known I’d hurt her. And instead of withdrawing, I’d thrust deeper.
Her pain made me ten times harder.
A hundred times more desperate.
A thousand times more violent.
