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I crippled beneath images of taking her again.
I trembled with the need for more.
I wanted her tears, and blood, and screams—
Stop.
Spitting out a mouthful of bile, I sucked in a tattered breath.
The moment I’d sunk inside Ily, I’d come face to face with the awful knowledge that loneliness might be the cross I’d carried my entire life, but it’d also been the only thing keeping me in-line.
If I let myself even think about caring for her, the monster inside me roared.
Victor thought I had a crush?
Fuck no, I had an obsession.
I wanted to flay her alive and tear her into pieces.
Not because of the animal inside me, but because the man had finally tasted togetherness, and now he was fucking starving.
How long could I stay human?
How long before I broke?
A day?
A week?
An hour?
As long as it takes.
You last as long as it takes.
As the retching subsided, I stood and shoved my face under the icy water. I wished the shower could rinse my mind free from filth, but no matter how cold the water or how many frosty needles hit my face, I couldn’t get Ily out of my mind.
I craved her.
Needed her.
While she was mine, my loneliness faded just a little.
While Victor smirked and seduced me with his slaves and secrets, I dabbled with the idea of what if?
What if I never went back?
What if Q never welcomed me into his family?
What if I always remained alone out there when I could finally be someone in here?
I’d bought a stake in Ily’s wellbeing.
I owned her body and soul.
I didn’t have to tell Q where we were.
If I did, he’d take her away from me.
