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“My brothers each have a family now, and you’re reminding me why all of these things matter. My brothers want to do all of these experiences around the holidays: walking through the light display, decorating a tree, and ice skating. I get that it’s important for Addy and Ember, but I didn’t think it mattered so much for me.”
“But now you do?”
“I’m starting to see the appeal.” He opened the door, and I did the same, meeting him at the hood of the truck.
He carried a saw in one hand, holding his free one out to me. My heart squeezed as I placed mine in his.
“What are you looking for?” I asked him, trying to keep my mind off what we were doing and what it meant.
“Something tall with full branches. I was hoping you could help with the rest of the details.” Talon flashed a smile at me, and it hit me square in the chest. I hadn’t seen him smile in a long time.
When I got pregnant, we were worried about what it meant. What we would do, and how we’d take care of a baby when we were kids ourselves. There was shock and a lot of stress. Then we lost the baby, and I didn’t think I’d seen him smile since. But then we’d disappeared from each other’s lives.
Was it possible to heal after so much heartbreak? Could we put our pasts behind us and move forward as friends or something more? It didn’t seem possible.
Talon paused before a tree on the slope. “What do you think about this one?”
“It’s hard to get a feel for the size since it’s on the hill.” I walked around it, testing the branches. “It’s a possibility. Let’s keep walking, though.” I wasn’t ready for the day to be over.
We walked down the rows, stopping occasionally to test the branches of one or walk around another. When we got to the end of the row, Talon paused, and I followed his gaze to see the view of the farm. From our vantage point, we could see the main house, the red barn, and even the main entrance to the farm. But it was far enough away that we felt alone. Like no one would disturb us.
There was a line of cars on the lane and other ones parked on the side of the road. Families and couples were in the fields that were marked for cutting.
Talon pulled me to sit next to him on the grass.
“It’s beautiful up here. I love watching everything.”
“You don’t like working the farm, but you enjoy watching everyone else?” I asked him.
Talon nodded. “It makes me feel less lonely.”
My heart clenched in response to his admission. “You’re lonely?”
“Well, yeah. My brothers are all pairing off. They have families, kids, and even dogs. What do I have?”
“You’re part of the family, too. You have a beautiful home and a great job.” I didn’t like the idea that Talon had been hurting all these years. I’d let him go so he could be happy. At the same time, I didn’t want to see him move on with someone else.
Talon grunted. “By now, I thought I’d already be married with a family.”
Suddenly, my mouth was dry. Was he talking about me or someone else? I didn’t think he’d dated anyone seriously since we broke up, but I hadn’t been paying close attention to him. It was easier to keep my distance.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault, so please don’t think that. A family can be just two people. You don’t have to have kids.”
“I know that,” I said softly.
The light was waning, and the twinkling lights that lined the paths on the farm were coming on.
“You thought we’d be married by now, living in the cabin,” I said, my heart pounding in my ears.
Talon inclined his head. “It’s what we talked about.”
I shook my head. “It’s funny how things don’t turn out like we think they will.”
“We were just kids back then. We didn’t know what life had in store for us.” Talon gestured with his hand. “I’ve been content with how things are for years, but I think I want to make some changes.”
“What would those be?” Was he planning on dating again? Taking a real chance on someone? I wasn’t sure I could stand by and watch that, even if we were friends.
Talon leaned back, resting his weight on his hands. “It starts with getting a tree. Then we can make some improvements to my house, and after that, we’ll have to see. I don’t know what I want. I just have to keep moving forward and taking that next step.”
