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“What nights are you at the bar?” I ask, admiring her pretty pinkened face.
“I took this weekend off. I told Sunny that I needed a break after what happened last weekend. Callie and Nathan invited me over tomorrow night for a fire.” It’s the first time either of us has spoken of her brother since Sunday morning when I told her everything, but we didn’t discuss how we would navigate this.
“Good. I’ll be there too.” Liar.
“Really?” She asks, surprised.
“Yeah, he texted me yesterday. I told him that I’m in town.” I’ll just text him, it’ll be fine.
“Okay, well good, but um… Can we not tell Nathan what’s going on? It’s still very overwhelming for me. I’m confused enough for myself, I’m not ready to explain how and why I know you.” She looks down at her car as she speaks, making me feel like she’s not telling me the whole truth about something.
I’m glad she’s not looking at me though because she’d see the expression on my face. She wants me to be a secret. Ouch.
I’m not supposed to tell anyone details while I’m undercover, including Nathan. Which is why I told her she couldn’t say anything to him before, but somehow when she suggests it, it stings. A part of me, deep down, feels the rejection. I’m not worth the complications. I’m not worth navigating through this. I’m not worth it.
“No problem. I won’t say anything. He’d probably want to punch me anyway for flirting with his little sister,” I tease, even though I don’t feel at all humorous. She blushes again, soothing some of the burn that I’m feeling.
“Okay, good. And, Jesse?” She asks as she gets in her car, and I feel like punching the air when she calls me by my real name. “I like it… When you flirt with me,” she clarifies, before shutting her door and starting the engine.
All I can do is grin like an idiot as she drives away. I like it too, Sunshine.
* * *
I’m running late. When I called Nathan and told him I had a free day on Saturday, he invited me over without a second thought. The problem was that it wasn’t actually a free day.
I spent most of my day driving boxes from the warehouse to Jameson’s farm. It was good because I got eyes on the farm, but bad because I am exhausted and running on only a few hours of sleep, again.
One thing is for sure, Jameson’s crew jumps when he says jump. They crawl when he tells them to crawl. We’ve been up all night multiple nights receiving these mysterious shipments from various semi trucks, and now he’s calling people back during the day to run more product.
The problem is that I’m never alone. I haven’t been able to snoop inside the boxes because they’re sealed shut and Curtis is attached to my hip. I’m sure it’s on Jameson’s orders until he trusts me. So, I’ll earn his trust.
My back aches, my neck’s stiff. I’m ready for a night off, so I’m glad for the excuse to come out here. Being able to be myself up here might feel like an escape. There’s no one around for miles who would know me as Jay.
I pull up his driveway and park just as the sun’s setting. The sky is still lit up in pinks and purples, but it won’t be long before it’s completely dark. The only lights out here will be the moon, the stars, and the fire that I can see burning from the backyard.
My heart kicks up in gear thinking about seeing Thea. The thought of pretending not to know her is a little unsettling, but maybe this is what we need. A fresh start. I can show her the real me from the beginning.
I make my way towards the group, Nathan and Callie are sitting together in a double Adirondack chair, while Thea sits to their right in another, leaving an empty one on the other side of them. Fuck. Do I sit next to her, or across from her?
“Jesse, you made it!” Callie calls out, her friendly personality is the complete opposite of Nathan’s. I can see why she and Thea have become friends, they both light up the world around them.
“I made it.” I catch her in a hug, nearly losing my hat in the process. She’s a nice girl, we’ve gotten along quite well since she met Nathan. He hates it, but she’s just too easy to like.
I look over her shoulder as Nathan comes toward me, not missing the look on Thea’s face. She’s looking at us, but her eyes are distant and sad, vacant almost.
“Okay. That’s enough,” Nathan grunts, but smiles before shaking my hand and pulling me in for a hug. A brief hug, but for him that’s huge.
I step towards the fire, approaching Thea as casually as possible, hoping to play this cool, but needing to be near her.
She’s traded in her usual oversized sweater for an oversized crew neck and shorts. The glow of the fire makes her tan legs look bronzed and sexy as hell, but I do my best to keep my eyes on her face. Her pretty face that I can’t help but admire because her hair is pulled back in a messy bun on the top of her head, leaving me an unobstructed view of the column of her neck that I want to drag my lips across.
“Hi, I’m Jesse. You must be Thea.” I extend my hand to shake hers. Fresh start.
She studies my hand two seconds longer than seems necessary but doesn’t take it. Instead, she plops a bag of marshmallows in my outstretched palm.
“Nice to meet you, Jesse. We’re making s’mores,” she says in the cheery voice that I’ve come to know, but I can tell something is off.
She moves to the opposite side of the fire, sitting in the vacant chair farthest from me. I guess that answers the seating arrangement question, but it still leaves me wondering what the sad look from before was about.
