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Maybe keeping a protective eye over her can be enough for me. Maybe I can settle for taking care of Andi while she’s here. I can help her. I can be like another big brother to her when Jake isn’t around and when he heads back out of Frosty Harbor after the holidays.
I just need to find a way to suppress how my body seems to practically light up with an electric current of excitement every time I’m near her.
Easier said than done.
14
JESSE
I’m not avoiding Andi. Not exactly, anyway. I’m simply resisting the near overwhelming urge to put myself in positions to be around her. I’ve been jumping at the chance when Caroline needs something done away from the bed and breakfast. Errand to run? I’m on it. Go ask so and so about this and that? No problem. As long as it’s not me and Andi together doing something, I’m all for it.
Around the cabin, I’ve managed to keep my distance, too. I started going to practices to cheer the guys on and give them pointers. I even went to a meeting the other day. On the one hand, it’s helping tamp down the growing guilt I’ve felt over failing to be a leader for my teammates. On the other hand, it’s keeping me away from Andi and from having to confront whatever confusing shit is attempting to form itself between us.
When I do need to be near Andi, I try to make sure my teammates are also around. Despite my efforts, we’ve still found ourselves alone a few times. The chemistry is impossible to ignore when it’s just us. We rode out to her crashed car together the other day and I helped the town mechanic, Mikey, chain it up and tug it free. He said it was most likely totaled, but he’d take a look. I helped Andi get things filed away with her insurance and we got lunch together before heading back.
All told, she has been in Frosty Harbor for about a week now. One week and I can already see how her presence is reaching to every corner of town like rapidly spreading vines. I’ve seen her laughing with Teri and Keri, the couple who runs the farmer’s market every weekend. I’ve spotted her chatting with random old folks on the sidewalk, running errands all over town for Caroline, and staying up late to play board games and watch movies with the guys at my cabin.
One week, and Andi already feels like she’s integrating with the town more than Sarah ever did after all our time together.
It’s a scary thought, considering Sarah’s inability to make a home here was always a point of contention between us.
I’ve also apparently managed to put out the signal that Andi is mine to pursue. The guys have been careful to stay platonic, and I know at least a few of them would have taken their shot by now otherwise–Jake’s murderous intent or not. The only explanation is they think I’ve laid some kind of claim over Andi.
I’ve thought about correcting their assumption. I should correct it. If I wasn’t full of shit, I’d sit them down and tell them in plain terms: I’m not interested in Andi that way. The fact that days keep ticking by and I haven’t had that conversation with anyone tells me everything I need to know. Of course, I’m still pretending I don’t see the writing on the wall.
Why?
Because I’m a coward and an asshole, apparently. I know I have nothing to offer Andi besides a chance at one day earning the fragments of my screwed up heart and heaps of casual, meaningless sex along the way.
I’m in a foul mood as I keep circling those same thoughts. I push open the door to Caroline’s place and find her behind the counter finishing up a check-in.
I spot Mia on what must be her lunch break. She’s still wearing her serving apron and a t-shirt that reads “Paulie’s Perogies and Such”. After a freak injury, Mia gave up figure skating and settled down into the kind of small town life most people around here cherish. She waits tables at Paulie’s and still slips her skates on when she gets the chance. She has her red hair pulled into a ponytail and smiles when she sees me.
“Jesse! Hey! You conveniently didn’t tell me about your new love interest the other day. I thought there were no secrets between us.”
I shoot a glare towards Caroline, who suddenly and mysteriously gets very busy behind her desk.
“She’s not a love interest,” I say. “She’s Jake’s little sister.”
“Mhm,” she says, and it’s now clear to me that Caroline has talked with Mia already. A lot. “The little sister Jake Summers didn’t tell anybody about until she showed up in a torn wedding dress after running away from her own wedding.” Mia is counting cash–her tips from the morning shift, I assume. She finishes and stuffs the few bills in the front pocket of her apron.
“He didn’t want the guys chasing after her. And he’s not exactly thrilled to have her staying in the cabin with us. We’re all trying to be respectful to him and not… well, you know.”
One of her dark red eyebrows lifts. “Not what?”
I sigh. “Nobody wants to tell Jake they have the hots for his sister.”
“But they all do, right?”
I’m not a good liar, so I decide to change the subject instead of trying. “It was nice to run into you, Mia. I need to see if Caroline needs–” I groan when Caroline practically sprints into the back room before I’ve finished my sentence.
“Looks like she’s fine,” Mia says, smiling wide. “Guess you’re stuck answering my questions.”
“I don’t think Andi is even going to stay in Frosty Harbor. So whether anybody has the ‘hots’ for her or not is kind of a moot point. She’s going to be history sooner or later. The girl ran away on the morning of her wedding. I don’t know if that’s exactly a recipe for stability.”
“I see.” Mia lifts a to-go cup and sips something pink through the clear straw. “So this girl is definitely girlfriend material, but she’s so great that you can’t bring yourself to admit it because you’re scared she’ll leave?”
“That’s not at all what I said.”
