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“It’s just an old injury,” I say, not really wanting to offer more than that. Honestly, I could fall asleep with the gentle rocking motion of being carried like this and the sensation of his strong arms wrapped around me. My face is pressed into his chest and my right hip is brushing against the hard slab of his stomach, bouncing slightly with each of his long strides. It’s cold out, but I barely feel it.
“From your figure skating days?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Ankle?” he asks. “I fucked up my ankle in college. Double sprain. Of all things, it was just when I was stepping onto the ice for practice. Nothing special, but my skate caught on a divot and I rolled it forward. I don’t think the ankle has ever felt quite the same since.”
“Yeah,” I say. “My right ankle. I was landing a spin in practice a few weeks before Olympic qualifiers. I needed my skate to point straight, but I missed the angle. I was already spinning fast and moving forward. I tore two tendons. Physical therapy helped, but I never got the stability back I would need to do the things I did. The doctors said I wasn’t a good candidate for surgery because of some existing scar tissue. Figure skating isn’t exactly forgiving on wobbly ankles.”
“Damn,” he says. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I would do if an injury took hockey away.” He hesitates. “You should be proud that you found something else. That had to be hard.”
I’m probably just feeling emotional because of the mixture of embarrassment and pain, but his words make my eyes water all over again. “Thank you.”
“Fuck,” he says, picking up his pace. “Is it hurting that bad?”
“No,” I say. “I just don’t know if I ever thought about what I did as brave or something to be proud of. It always felt like I failed and stumbled into something else. You make it sound like some kind of heroic redemption arc.” I laugh.
“It’s not? You’re kicking ass at Taste right now. Call me biased, but Taste isn’t just some fast food kitchen. Only someone who has real talent could be doing what you’re doing there. And you didn’t just stumble into it. You decided it was going to happen and you dropped everything to make it reality.”
My mouth goes dry when I replay the words “dropped everything” in my mind again and again. Does he mean I dropped him? Is that what he thinks? I’m trying to think of a way to explain my feelings when we reach Dr. Knight’s office.
“Shit,” he says. There’s a paper on the door saying they are off early because of the hockey tournament.
“Small towns,” I say, laughing a little.
“Alright, I guess we’ll just call an ambulance from the city.”
“No!” I blurt. “No, just… take me home. I promise I’ll go see Dr. Knight first thing in the morning.”
He stands silently for a few seconds before answering. “I’m staying over, then. And I’m taking you to see her in the morning.”
“You don’t trust me?”
“Maybe I just want an excuse to stay over.”
“Are you going to be able to carry me all the way back to the rental?”
“I’d carry you off a mountain if I had to, Calloway.”
I laugh. “Why would we be on a mountain together?”
“Romantic ice fishing trip,” he suggests as he starts walking.
“I don’t know if there’s ice fishing on top of mountains.”
“Maybe we’d have to cross a mountain on our way back, then.”
“This sounds more perilous than romantic.”
“Then I’d carry you from the nosebleed seats at a Broadway play.”
I laugh. “How would I get hurt so badly I’d need to be carried at a Broadway play? Clapping too hard?”
“Exactly. Besides, you just got hurt getting up to go take a piss. I’m going to have to be on constant vigil with you, it seems.”
I smile, biting the corner of my lip. This feels like the way it was with us before. Now that I know what happened with his parents, the change in him feels more tragic than frustrating. “Yeah,” I say. “But how are you going to keep an eye on me when the hockey season starts again?”
My question cuts through the light mood like a sudden burst of thunder. I don’t know why I asked it. I was enjoying the moment, but I think of the old cliche about opposites attracting. Me and Nolan are completely different people, but when it comes to our drive and our careers, we’re not so different.
