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ONE
ZARIA
"You know I’m going to get in trouble for this,” Luka teased as he held up the practice sword.
“Only if they find out,” I countered, lifting a similar sword he’d gotten from the practice hall. They’d never missed anything else he had taken in the years since I’d made him show me what he had learned.
"You said they were beginning to notice your absences.” A frown pulled at his handsome features as he parried my attack with ease.
“Only because Aeryn told on me.” My sister loved to brownnose. She would always be everything I could not be, and I’d given up trying to live up to my parents’ expectations. "She doesn’t know what I’m doing.”
“How will you prevent her from following us?” Luka attacked.
“I’ve done it so far. Have you so little faith in me?” I deflected, stepping under the blade to cut a quick attack at his thigh. “Besides, I won’t make that mistake again. My chores are done. There is nothing for her to tell on me for.”
He barely dodged the blow, coming around quickly to swing at my head. His breathing picked up speed, and his brow glistened with a light sheen of sweat in the late afternoon light.
“I don’t want you to get in trouble.” A slight hitch came with his words when he recovered, and we reset our positions."And I don’t want you wearing yourself out.”
“You know this is the only hour of the day I have energy enough to spare.” I exhaled heavily and dropped the point of my weapon.
“We could try at dawn. She’d still be asleep, less risk,” he offered.
“I can’t. It’s worst at night, and I’m too weak even for breakfast some mornings.”
Luka’s eyes softened with the sympathy he knew I hated. I hated all the looks. The judgement from the field workers because I was too fragile to work alongside them, when a mere moment spent in the fields would bring on an attack. The withering looks from my family. No doubt the shame of having a child who could not contribute to our community’s needs like the rest, only burdening them instead, was difficult to bear. But the sympathy I so often saw in Luka’s eyes was the worst of all.
“Don’t look at me that way, Luka.” I growled, turning away, tired of the same old conversation. “I need to do this.”
Luka took my hand and tried to turn me back to him. “Why, Zaria? Help me understand. Don’t mistake my meaning, I love our time together, but why use what little strength you have learning a skill they will never let you use?”
I whirled on him. “What would you have me do? Lie down and die? I can’t help with the crop because it makes me sick. I can’t hunt or gather. All I can do is use the few hours of the day that I’m not bedridden to do chores where I can. I’m a burden, Luka. And if raiders come? Those who can fight will defend the crops first, themselves second. I need this. I need to know I can protect myself, even if they would never let me fight. Who will fight for me? Should I pray to the Goddess to be married off to the first fae who offers my father the right price?” I scoffed.
“You’re the only girl I’ve ever met who’d rather work in the fields than have a husband to provide for her.”
I wrinkled my nose, but I couldn’t articulate why nothing about my existence and planned future sounded appealing. “The only reason I haven’t been married off yet is my reputation for being difficult.”
Amusement colored his expression. “Maybe you haven’t met the right man.”
I laughed, rotating my shoulder to ease an ache. I don’t know how I would have survived the last few years without my best friend. He was the only one I could talk to, the only one who didn’t see me as a burden. “No one desires a headstrong wife. They want docile.”
“Not everyone.” Luka lunged, using the distraction to attack, hacking cut after cut.
I backed up, blocking blows. My heel hit a rock, and I stumbled. He tried to use it to take me to the ground, but I was too quick for him, slipping out of his grasp to spin around and bring the edge of my sword to his back. “Yield.”
“I yield.” He turned, dark gaze meeting mine. “Would marriage be so bad?”
“We’ve talked about this…” I trailed off. “What is that noise?”
He cocked his head, listening. “I hear nothing.”
I strained, closing my eyes, searching for the sound, but nothing came. “Strange.” I opened my eyes and found him with that look he sometimes got. Longing, hopeful, far too intense. I quickly looked away, seeking an escape. “I should return to my chores before my absence is noticed.”
“Zaria, will you talk to me?”
“I can’t.” I didn’t want to hear it. I knew what he wanted to say, and I didn’t want our friendship to change. I took the sword out of his hand and tucked both back into our hiding place before smoothing my hair. “How does my dress look?” I dusted stray grass from it, but there was nothing to be done about the stains.
“It’s a little stained, Zaria. What if they think?—”
