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He seemed to thaw slightly. “They’re gone. There is nothing to go back to. I’m truly sorry for that.”
“They can’t be!”
“They are. I’m sorry. I don’t know why it happened, but I will find out.”
His words cut deep. He could be right, but I had to see for myself. I had to know. And if they were gone, I would see them into the Goddess’ arms with dignity. The only way that was going to happen was with his help.
Then his words fully registered. “It wasn’t you?” I asked. I had to know.
“I was only there to rescue you,” he said solemnly.
I let out a relieved breath. It shouldn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but he needed something from me, something I couldn’t even begin to understand. But clearly it meant enough to him to snatch me from my home and bring me to this place. Enough to justify his actions as right in his mind. So if he wanted my cooperation in that, then I’d needed to hear that he wasn’t there to burn the village. And if he was making demands, then I had my own.
“I want to go back—” He started to protest, but I held up my hand, silencing him. “I need to see for myself. If what you say is true, I want to give them the proper burial rites. They will not find their way to the Shores of Avalon unless I lay them to rest in the way the Goddess decreed.”
He said nothing.
I didn’t know if that meant he was considering my words or the opposite. His face gave nothing away, so I continued. “I will do as you ask. I will find out about this place, and I will help you ‘take your rightful place’, whatever that means, if you will agree to take me back so I can find out the fate of my family.”
He considered me for a long moment, then nodded. “I can work with that,” he said casually, as if we hadn’t both just been bargaining for our lives. But something told me he was making light.
“So, do we have an agreement?” I urged. I needed him to say the words if I was going to trust him to deliver.
“We have an agreement, Sol.”
He finally withdrew his hand from my space and lowered it, slipping it into the pocket of the soft, loose trousers which sat so low on his—Goddess, save me. I had followed it with my gaze and now I was staring.
If the low chuckle I felt to my core was anything to judge by as he turned and walked out of the room, he had very much noticed.
SEVEN
ZARIA
My knees went weak, and I slumped to a seat on the bed as soon as he left the room. Being in his presence did something to me. What in the Goddess’ name had I agreed to? I didn’t want to help him—I wanted to get away from him. He took me from my life and left it burning in his wake, and here I was agreeing to help with his needs, so he would return me to what’s left of it. Perhaps he used the power of the dark spirit to make his offer sound reasonable?
I had to stay strong. I wouldn’t help him. I might have agreed for the moment, but it was only to buy myself some time. At least that’s what I told myself.
I rubbed my head, realizing it was swimming. I didn’t know how long I had slept since the attack but getting up quickly and then running through all those emotions was catching up. I felt off balance having had that confrontation with him. Nyx. The name felt heavy and fundamental in my chest when I thought it. Like that thread between us he insisted was true was reminding me he was vital even though he’d left.
My feelings about him and what he’d done aside, my body—or my soul, I suppose—seemed to feel his importance at just the thought of his name. I didn’t like it. How could I begin to process all that had happened when even my soul felt drawn to the fae who caused it all?
Another wave of sadness hit. I couldn’t imagine what terrible fate had come to my family. I had to shut down those thoughts to prevent another emotional outburst. I was not in a safe place, and I would not indulge that show of weakness until I was.
I quickly wicked away a single escaped tear with my finger before they all tried to fall and used my breathing exercise again to calm myself.
“Hey now,” a soft voice said from the curtain.
I looked up to find a robed fae entering, carrying a tray of steaming food.
“I heard you were awake,” she said, closing the curtain behind her and placing the tray on the side table.
I could do little but blink in response as she approached and quietly busied herself checking the heat of my skin and the rate of my heart in the way the healers did with their fingers on my wrist.
“How are you feeling?” she asked once she was satisfied.
“Um, okay,” I replied weakly. There were no words for how I was feeling, and I couldn’t pour it out to this fae even if I could find them. I did not know who I could trust in this place.
She offered an understanding smile. “I know you’ve been through a lot. Zaria, isn’t it?”
